~ Miss Daijoubu Always~

I'm suppose to study...but im not!

2007-08-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

Yeah...now nls is just a history..hahah..no more babies and pregnant women. Serious...im sick of THINKING and KNOWING abt them.

Yesterday..was my 1st time holding...touching...caressing..1000 buck shoes and tops and lots of other expensive thingss!...sheesh...wonder wat makes them so EXPENSIVE....is it the workmanship and quality?

I bought fake eyelashes yesterday!!...I love them!!

I just realised that I'm easy to be influenced.

To my mardi: Whats the date u go Japan? I want to send u if i dont have anything.
To mahera, fiza,mardi: I SERIOUSLY MISS YOU GUYS.

i'm scared.really scared.

Because i love them also.

2007-08-18T07:23:00.000+08:00

US!! We're blessed by Allah~ See how bright the light shine on us! Hope everything is fine and hope it last forever nee!!! *smiles*

Our friendship band!It's awesome isnt!! its a TOPSHOP frenship band..haha..It wasnt planned..but im so in love with it..its my treasure. Its our treasure! It shall be the one that hold us together.

Everytime i wear it, i feel so warm. Because they warm my heart.

To saihah: If that dish was so nice....tell me anytime...i can cook for ya again. Hee...

To azfar: U want that tamagoyaki is it? Aww...i can do it for ya..but im still NEW haha..so tak sesedap ibu2 jepon buat. Hee..

I said to them: Although there's only the 3 of us, we can still make great impression and AWESOME JOB!

Ciaooo my love ones.

Baby, how i wish i can call you my baby.

2007-08-12T21:43:00.000+08:00

What a title man...heee

Sometimes..its nice to tell ur heart feelings to strangers....isnt?

Heee hafiz is cutee!!! *pinch his cheeks*

I'm bored...waiting for azfar and saihah...

Ciao minna sann...

Selamat tinggal kasih tak terungkap~

2007-08-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work...had to change to some stripy red white shirt...haha i look like some lost pirate there..hahah

Nothing much...national day eve sux....all the way sch....no fun at all...

and i dont want to look forward for anything...

Exam in 2 weeks time...*sigh*...LETS STUDY!!!

Oh well..happy national day to all my frens...

Semoga cepat kau lupakan aku.
Semoga ku boleh bertahan hingga ke akhir pertemuan kita.
Semoga kita tidak akan bertemu lagi selepas itu.

Ciaooo

2007-08-04T15:15:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA! guess wat i'm updating my blog at NGEE ANN POLY LIBRARY!! hahaha.....

i miss fiza so much...so i met her at Clementi and eat at SIM.

Sai..azfar....one day we go eat at SIM's canteen ok?? the food is ALOT BETTER THAN ITAS!!! ok??? its quite far though...

oh anyway....tetsu's name is Muhammad Azfar Bin Muhammad Ali from ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING. *grins*

this morning mr guliano said: OH HAZ! THE MEAL WAS SOO NICE!! THANK U!

haz: *SMILES*'

I shld say gracia seh....hmmmm

Ciao~

What's after 2hnt69?

2007-07-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

Aku nak nangis! Tapi air mata tak keluar pasal kalau aku nangis pon tak guna....nothing will change!

Nak tau apasal? Semua gara-gara FPQA and NLS. I hate them!
But actuallykan...crying is the best solution to release ur stress. ^_^

I think i'm the type of person yg senang jadik happy just by simple little things and the happiness can last for like the WHOLE DAY..but at the same time my mood also easily stimulated, tats y kadang2 boleh happy2 giler2 suddenly sedih or depress. Only Allah knows what went inside my head.

That day i took 5 and saw this couple ddk together ah...and i think wat they did was romantic...the gerl hugged the guy's arm, put her head at his shoulder and they lock their fingers together. haha. To some of u its common n nothing kan? Haha..apa jek haz eh...tapi aku suka macam tu..mcm best gitu. Whatever it is, it's nice to be close to someone that u love.U'll enjoy every moment of it.

Only God knows who replaced Hasif and the test He gave me was even harder than what i experienced last time. But dis time i decide not to put any hope to it or distance myself from him instead i wanna be there, by his side for as long as i can and whenever he needs me as a FREN. I'll consume all my feelings for him, jealousy and the pain, put it aside and be happy for him. Hopefully he chose me to be by his side. ^^

Az said, "theres always other gerl in this world"

You're right azfar. I should be like u.

As if you were always beside me.

2007-07-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

I looked up at the sky and saw the moon with a very bright star beside it. i said to myself, oh well although he's far from me, whenever i look up at the sky, it will always be the same sky,where i stood and wherever he is. i felt nearer to him like tat.

Rationale tries to comfort the heart: Let's not hope for more hazwani. It was fated that you met him and have feelings for him unexpectedly.

Luckily he cant read my heart feelings here.*phew*

ciao minna-san ^^

same haz but different look.

2007-07-15T15:56:00.000+08:00

Old look.

New look.

Run away~

2007-07-14T17:13:00.000+08:00

Right now i feel like running away from everyone i know.
I want to forget everyone.
I want to make new frens and get to know new hearts.
And smile at them.
I want new people to know me.

I want to see the sky at different place.
I want to breathe in new air.
I just dont want to repeat the same storyline.

I want to fall in love but not for the wrong person.
It makes everything difficult.
Difficult enough to cause everyone trouble
Trouble big enough to make you sit down
And never come out with any solution.

I never want to sacrifice my heart again.
It's painful and unbearable.
It drains all my energy.
I really hope i was given a better choice.

I want to love and be loved.
And in fact i do believe that i am in love.
Except that i'm not loved.

2007-07-07T18:45:00.000+08:00

Hee lawa eh?? Right ones belongs to azfar, after tat mine and then saihah's.

Lately i take bus 5 to school, one day the bus i took looked like dis. It is fully carpeted, the seats are all like this, red cushioned and theres several hot seats, i got to sit on dem' and the bus smells really nice. :D

Si tiao liao! haha.

2007-07-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

Chin shi's fav saying: Chin shi die oready..
Now haz want to say it.

Haz die oready...
Haz si tiao liao....

School...Project...Work....Deadlines....haha...nice...

Henry: Haz why u today look so....weak? like JELLY!...
Haz: *laughes*

Auntie Siew Hwa: *look at haz's face* Haz why u look so tired?
Haz: *smiles* sch i think...

Before going home,
Haz to Hafiz: Bye *smiles*

I love his smile and chubiness, like panda.

Damn how i wish i can have a hero, like sesshoumaru-sama or one of the transformers. XD

2007-06-09T22:13:00.001+08:00

orang selalu mintak ilmu aku
orang selalu perlukan tenaga aku
ada tak orang yg perlukan kasih sayang aku

2007-06-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

orang sakit aku risau
orang takde aku kesepian
orang sedih aku ambil berat

tapi mungkin ada tak

aku sakit orang risau
aku takde orang kesepian
aku sedih orang ambil berat

Dont leave me behind...pls....

2007-06-03T12:53:00.000+08:00

"Ni dah ambik?"

"Blom"

*going away to take things*

*using 2 hands she grab hold of his hand*

"no! takmo! takmo! jangan pegi!dah ada!! sorry"

*abruptly letting go of his hand*

What a stupid gerl. What was she thinking....grabbing hold of someone's hand like tat...

~the end~

Why is the pace of my life so sudden n fast?

Just when i turn 19....i got my 1st hp...all the bills start filling my drawer...i got my 1st job...all the cpfs n life insurance n the redcross all start to mail things to me. 2.1 is bloody heavy sem...and what now?...i'm changing....haz is changing...i'm starting to like someone for real....n i started talking I and U with pple....to certain pple ah......is disgusting ah...i just cant believe it i did tat man!!...arghhhh....but i'm still sticking to my AKU KAU, Japan, tetsu, larc and watching cartoon..HAHAHA.

yeah i know..i long time never update dis dusty blog....oh yeah...i just got my 1st warning letter from TP..hahaha..yeah its not a laughing matter...especially for someone like me...ugh...its depressing ah..really depressing...

And now...i'm suppose to study for tmr ppr...Nutrition Across Life Span....bloody...i really dont like dis subject..WHY??...becoz it's NONSENSE only for NUTRIONIST wannabesss....its just sooo many to remember...i rather study biology seh....

oh and 22 jun...we got to choose our electives..i want food science...i dont want to be a mcd manager FOREVER..hahaha~ JIWA MCD *winks at osai*.....although the pay is quite good...i want to do something that i can explore further....yeah like food science...i know..i dont have the chance to go Uni....but haiz....just look at the +ve side.....if i really want knowledge..i can work for the money to get to U...only that i'm OLD ah by that time..hahaha....PROVIDED tat i'm still single...if not ah...it will be quite difficult to handle things....ur husband...ur house...ur parents...ur children...ur job...ur studies...hmm..life is tough....

Talk abt marriage...i saw dis 1 senior's frenster...she's 21 n she just got engaged...well congratulations...i doubt she know who the hell i am..hahhaah...but my tots were....WOW...TAT YOUNG AND SHE'S PREPARED TO SETTLE DOWN?? So far...i wouldnt want to get engaged or marry at young age...coz i still want to DO LOTSSSS of thingssss...no.1 in list is GO JAPAN!!!WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO...its ok...i'm always patient waiting for that precious moment...my loveeee...oh japan~~~

Some will say...go japan with ur husband ah..ok wat...KALO LAH LAKI AKU SUKA JEPON...kalo tak..mmps...he will complain n complain non stop abt the food...weird pple...open mindedness of the japanese and of coz the LANGUAGE..hahaha....a heart is a heavy burden....

Ok..got to study now..or else i'll regret..hahaha...but susah ckit psl i keep thinking of someone rite now..hahaha...i hope i wont regret telling him my true feelings. Oh n dont get confused wif my words...i'm still super single...aku ajer yg ada suka org....tats all.

Matta neeee~

2007-06-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

Tell me i'm not in loveee....god.....why is dis keep happening to me......

I'm so not ready for sch!!!

2007-04-11T18:14:00.000+08:00

Aaa konnichiwa minna....i'm down with flu....sch gonna open soon..yeah!!!..but it means there'll be test n exams n stress again...sheesh...

New Larc's single : Seventh Heaven and Shine *seventh heaven sounds a lil bit discotic*
New Kanjani8 single : Zukkoke Otokomichi *check it out its nice and cute*

*I just watch Music Station Special Live....n i'm so happy coz the guest they featured are Larc...K8!!! and ORANGE RANGE and lots of other gr8 celebrities!!..all my favs are there!!...and i'm soo happy to see tetsu smiling/laughin at kanjani's song!! hahaha...it is a funny song!!!

To mahera: I'm sorry...i want to go geylang with u oso..but i cant seem to find the time...n SP dah nak bkk sch...i donno where to slot in seh....

I want to find clothes for new sem....new sch bag!!! shoes!!! sheesh!!! lots of things!!...

I feel so rotten inside

2007-03-22T21:13:00.000+08:00

What will u do when u heard a shocking news abt ur close fren family....smthg that involves death.
Just now was the first time i heard it with my own ears.\
My heart stopped and my mind went blank
A few weeks back i heard the news abt her father went for operation. From the news, he sounded ok to me.
Suddenly this thing happen
The only thing my mom told me was, it was his time.
Maybe some will think i'm not at a position to be sad or cry.
But, reminising the person gone just cant stop me from crying.
Lots of memories since i was a child came back to my mind.

Theres nthg to say abt it except for to say it to myself, it will happen to me one day and i'm not ready yet.
And i just dono wat to say to my fren.

Some random things.

2007-03-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

Kaki aku sakit.

I think shigoto is ok..but kaki aku sakit. and since i dono lots of things i feel like a stupid there.

One of my manager is a JE fan..hahaha...n she's so happy to know tat i like JE oso. She was quite shocked oso..hahaha. She study at TP oso, engine sch.

I'm bored.

Azfar told me tat he saw tetsu sr w/ a girl.
Shahrul hisap rokok.

I'm immuned to mat2.....i think older mat2..those like 20 and above are quite ok....in fact i can mix ard with them...though sometimes they ARE SO LAME.

I dont get nervous with guys anymore. except those tat i like ah. ^ ^

PC Spicy, Mc Chicken up! PC Filet normal?

2007-03-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

Just when you were reaching out for your dream
It shatters instantly in front of you
Just when you put all your hopes for it
It came crashing down on you
I was left speechless

Sharp pain i felt in my heart
Hatred rushing in my blood
God why does it keep happening to me

Countless tears pours down into my broken heart
Why do i keep crossing the path that wasnt meant for me
In the 1st place, why did You make me have this feelings.

Stupid Blog. I mean it.

2007-03-03T02:08:00.000+08:00

Nyan~Nyan~ Guess who's back!!!

Its Tet-chan!!!!*giggles sheepishly*

This is his new song, Can't stop believing.

I love it! I tot it sounds so inspiring and energetic. Just like 15 half. And if u listen carefully theres this larcish tune! XD

He sings better now. His pass work sounds a little bit edited. Well duh..coz it has been mastered oready.Whatever it is...he's back ah.Larc back oso. I'm so happy.

Tonikaku...finished my exams i hope i get better grades...and these few days i've been looking for work...but as usual luck is not on my side. Okane ga hoshii!!!Shigoto ga hoshii!! Otoko no hoshii!!

Talking abt otoko....my fav LG graduated oready....and now i found another fav. He looks like tetsu!...ok tats the reason why i like him!!! Actually there are 4 TP students that reminds me of tetsu. Tetsu Sr.,Tetsu Bisnes,Tetsu Science,Tetsu Jr.Demo this one, Tetsu Sr. looks super kawaii...and he dresses very nice!! The point that triggers my feelings is when i saw he in a yellow shirt and i saw his singlet inside that yellow shirt. IT REALLY REMINDS ME OF SUPER SEXY TETSU. ARGHH....i so cant help it.I'm so obsess with tetsu!! hahaha...its ok what..he is meant to be obsessed with. Oh anyway he's MALAY. Thats the difficult part....its easy for him to know if i get excited when he's ard, so hazzy i gotta be more cautious n carefull nee! So far i only know he's from engine sch. Most probably a 2nd year student. And another part of him that i'm really happy to knoe is....he do wear clothes other than black, brown or white. I LOVE IT!!! I saw him wear pink, yellow and blue/turquoise!!! It's sooo nicee!!

If i find out something abt tat may make me depress.He may be senget, or bi.If he were to be single and like one of my friends or someone i know in TPEtto....thats all i think?? K lah enough oready.

~Rainbow~

2007-02-08T21:04:00.000+08:00

Some updates. Nothing interesting.

2007-02-08T20:47:00.000+08:00

Yeah everything has finished!! no more test...no more projects..no more presentation...no more!!...but soon is my EXAM!!! I'll do my best!!! 3.5 HERE I COMEE!!!!....since i have 4 pprs only...i want to give my very best!

Bye bye Yao Wei. I still have 2 more years to go.

These days...i always feel the urge of walking home alone. I think its very nice to walk home in a windy night...since these days its always windy...i take the oppturnity nee~ Everything seems nice and calm...i love NIGHT more than DAYLIGHT. The sky is so wide with lots of stars....i get to smell the fresh night air....surround by trees and i'm alone...not forgetting my mp4 nee...no music no life!

Lately i've been having dreams abt me having a son. Its so weird. Sheesh n i can feel the love between me n that baby.

~owari~

Have fun my dear. If u know what i mean.

2007-01-27T19:58:00.001+08:00

People say that singles doesnt know how it feels like to be in relationship. To some extend its true but remember singles are also humans with feelings.They're able to sympathise and even EMPATHISE. In fact they are the humans who can think straight most of the time.

Well...i know i lack the experience. I admit that.

This girl. This baka girl. I know she have the rite to be jealous when her guy look at other gerl.

Well get this thing rite...its just smthg i personally believe....guys are always FLIRTATIOUS. In fact she's not the only creature that is beautiful in his eyes?....I really cant stand when she said..."u're 18..stop being immature"...but isnt 18 is just the start of FUN for guys???.....and for goodness sake...ONLY NOW U NOTICE TAT HE'S IMMATURE?

You need to be understanding my dear.

Haiz....isnt it obvious that he's da playful type n attention seeker? You shld know what to expect if u really like him and wish to be in relationship with him. And what are u doin there? Sitting down always waitin for him to say sweet things to u? Preserving ur beauty? Do ur part man....give substance to ur love life...if u take him as ur lifemate.Somemore...its just a BOYFRIEND....he's not a guaranteed soulmate u going to spend ur whole life with. Have fun. Have fun with him. No pain no gain. What's there to look forward if ur life only filled with sweet things.....u shld fill it with sweet things tat u gain after COMPLICATIONS.....make him WANT u...show him...tat u really love him...make him feel jealous...let him feel what it is to be jealous.

Why ask such qs? U still wanna enjoy life? GOD...tell me who doesnt. Think what makes his eyes go astray to other gerls? WHY? baka no onna.

Relax lah. Dont go too fast. Dont make things difficult for him.You are young. He is still young.

If u really wish for a serious relationship....go and mit him when he reach 25 my dear.

Dont u know that the person u got as ur boyfren is a popular guy in ur sch? Do u know how is it to be a POPULAR GUY? put urself in his shoes lah. Its difficult to NOT SEE OTHER BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.

I believe in it strongly. He is a good guy lah. Have some belief in him. Give him time.

19th Birthday.

2007-01-21T12:15:00.000+08:00

This year's birthday i felt so grown up oready and happy coz i got to spend my time at Food Pilot Plant!

My mom agreed to let me have my own hp becoz she thinks i'm at the right age to have 1. SO she gave me Sony Ericsson Z160i
My father gave me 50 bucks when i said aku tgh kopak. thanks abah...i got to eat at sch the next day~

Anyway thanks to Azfar, Saihah and Sutha for the presents..
Azfar gave me Royce' Choc Potato Chips
Saihah gave me that voodoo like doll that can put pic on the face (featured in Goong)..with her own touch....*leher lembik* LOL.
Sutha gave me cute biscuits...choc n a plush toy....thank you..
Since most of it is edible things i can't keep it for a long time~ haha..azfar's especially.
I love all of it.

Thanks to all my dearest friends for wishin me a happy birthday..
Thank you so much.

Azfar told me that if the 1st person to msg u happy birthday was someone u like or ur bf...that will be the best birthday present ever. Then i remembered...that there's this person who was deeply depress when that someone she likes was the last one to wish her happy birthday. At least he did wish ya girl. Forgotten is not as bad as being ignored as if u dont exist in dis world.

TP's open hse yesterday was SO HAPPENING. n i did saw some of my jrs...i just said some hi. thats all.

Ikan Bili Fried Rice. Thai Kuey Teow Goreng.

2007-01-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

I had fun watching people having fun~ haha.
Since i didnt have the chance to watch any performance last time during poly open hse...i ended up watchin' TP's. It was FUN. haha. Especially when u have a cute nice smellin' guy sitting beside u very close till body touch each other. LOL. that was too detailed i guess haha. I call that guy Abg Wangi. These days i label lots of guys ABG + the description in order to differentiate which is which.

Tomorrow i got to go to sch n bake. Yeah for open hse. For the sake of SEAL pts. haha. I hope it will be fun. It's expected that tmr we will have more visitors...more cute guys to be spotted...more happenin....but becoz of bakin we'll be stayin inside the food pilot plant da whole day.

In 2hrs time i'm gonna be 19. Sometimes its fun to know that u'r gettin older becoz u got to do MORE things thatyoungerpplecantdo....and it just change pple's opinion abt u...coz YEAH u'r 19..lol..but sometimes being 19 n above oso give lots of stress nee....being a senior...being an older fren to some of my frens...n to the world...well pple will expect more stable thought from u....put all responsibilities on u...expect u to the right thing neee....mah...daijoubu kanaaaa desu yo neeee....all got +ve n -ve nee....

Recently i had my depression....thats when i think really low abt myself....n easy to get jealous over things that is not even yours...n i mean pple too....getting possesive also over things tat i dont own....it will always come n go away neee..i'm not sure if theres any cure for dis sickness...but i guess its nothing to worry coz u guys know i never tot of commiting suicide nee hahaha.

I've decided to really join Taekwondo. XD

When can i hav an abg that is of my choice?

Deadly psycho.

2007-01-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

Yo minna....tasukete you!!!

Oboeteruka....tat day i got tell you abt dis 1 guy asking me out?No not kenn....that one just passing him his befdae prezzie.

If u do den good....anyway...i didnt tell anyone what happened tat day..

It was my 1st time..and it was da worst i guess???...and i told myself...tat will be the LAST TIME i go out with a guy.

I tink i do have a problem. I cant go out with them. Be it my FREN or SOMEONE else. God pls do help me. That day, my heart was really racing. I wasnt looking forward for it in the 1st place. Maybe becoz i have no feelings for tat guy. But isnt when A GUY ASK U OUT you shld be excited and look forward?....ok definitely not me....tonikaku...tat day...I INSIST on bringin my fren...2 of them....tat guy agreed...both of them were late...so i met him 1st...ok we talked a lil bit...i felt awkward n disgusted...i donno WHY!!!....my stomach was churning hardly...even up till now i can feel the disgusted feeling....maybe outside i look calm or normal...but inside it was HAYWIRE...theres nothing wrong with that guy...really. So then...rui arrived...we went to eat at Far East Plaza....when i was eating...my hand was wobbling man....and the food i ordered was piping hot...n he was sitting in front of me...geez..totally UNCOMFORTABLE. I lost my appetite...WHY? becoz i was considered STRESS.....didnt finish my food...n i really cant tahan when someone TEASED me in that kind of haywire STATE....damn.....i lose control....nthg bizarre happen ah..but my face showed the nervous look.

Other than that...my precious brain start to race....thinking of topic...what shld i talk abt...becoz i cant expect rui to open a conversation....and guess what..i cant tihnk of anything...becoz....1....our age gap..i'm 18 n he's 24....2...our interest...god i dono what he likes and i'm really into JAPAN....3...our job...i'm a poly student and he's working as..uh what ah?? technician?...he went to ITE...but i donno what to talk abt ITE...in fact he studies abt those electrical thingy i know NOTHING.....i'm a science student...

All along i prayed to God......den we decided to watch movie....n meet up az...we're not sure what movie to watch...i tot of watching a horror movie..since my frens are also there...den az said she had watched the horror movie that we planned to watch....n other movies looks sooo urgh yucky...so i said K TATS IT....I DONT WANNA WATCH ANY....i'm was being such a pain in da butt....GOD....*praying hardly*

Met az at that Brunei Hotel after solat....then...az her fav hobby is to TEASE. She said just watch tat horror movie with him lah....its not like as if u watch alone...u're with A GUY....i just wish she didnt say that....wats more..IT WAS INFRONT OF HIM...i'm sure he's not deaf!.....rui said...i shld just go n watch....and she'll accompany az....damn it..all along i ask them for company becoz i need one....hello i need help there.....ARGH...

In the end...all of us didnt watch anything....we go window shopping.....n everyone knoes...guys dont like to SHOPPIN..hahaha...after like 30mins walking n sightseeing n shoppin and taking pics....i announced smthg that i actually shldnt announce but it did saved me...i said...i'm not feeling well..I'M GOIN HOME...az n rui was like...O_O...HUH? WHAT?WHY?.....i didnt answer any...i said...I'M GOIN HOME. Az said....r u goin to leave him alone here with us? i said..YES!???...whatever i dont care....az did her professional way to save the whole scene....she offered him her COMPANY...do u wanna jalan2 with us??He said.....uh...well...anytihng...i dont mind...what ever it is...i send her home 1st....den i'll call ya if i wanna join u...when i heard that....my heart goes...GOD TAK PAYAH....I KNOW ORCHARD BETTER THAN I KNOW U....GOD PLSS...PLSS TAKPYH SUSAHKAN DIRI...U"RE A GOOD PERSON THANKS ANYWAY...I CAN WALK BY MYSELF...NO ONE's GONNA KIDNAPPED ME...ok....yeah i relented...at least i can go home...so he walked me to the bus stop...n I LOVE 190!!! THAT BUS SAVED MY LIFE!!! when we reach at the busstop 190 CAME!!!...yeah sooo i dont need to wait for the bus with him..hahahaha~

the end....after a few days then he called me...but tat time i was busy so we didnt talk much...n den after tat...i dont pick any call from him...i felt guilty but it did saved my very life.

Some may think i'm bad and cold hearted...but u wouldnt know how it feels like until u're at my place. Up till now...i still cant go out with them...guys i mean..i dont wanna try it anymore...never...sorry azfar...i just cant...if u want ask saihah or others oso out...i don wanna spoil ur day nee....

And whats more...i just told azfar that i envy pple yg easily go out with guys...easily accept love...i cant...last time my reaction towards cute guys was really overwhelming and obvious...but now....its becoming lesser n lesser....sharul? i forgot abt him oready...Kenny?...whateva....CY?do i care? khairul...faizal? what? who?LG? yeah he's cute...but no more reaction....alex?...yeah he's hot...tats all.

My heart is as hard as rock. Or should i say the door is closed.

Wonder what will happen to me.God help me. Someone help me.

Seo Ji Hoon....Xellos of Korea

2006-12-30T16:27:00.000+08:00

No, he's not a member of any boyband....he's not a talented rocker..... he's not a skillful bassist....he doesnt have a heavenly voice...he's not a cute actor....he dont have hot moves....then who is he??....he's a PRO GAMER!

First of all...i want to say....why is he korean and not japanese! It's not that i'm anti korea....but i love japan.....but in this case who cares....he's kakkoii! "Looks can do wonders"
His fingers moves 3 times faster than any average gamers and i think his brain works really fast...in an instant he can set up his own strategy and make a very powerful army. But his talent can last only for several years...by 25 he have to retire from this career coz it is said that at that age the talent and speed of the superfast fingers will decline. Its an instant money making career but not promising nee....

Now he's 20years old...young nee..ii naaaaa....he was champion for WCG (world cyber game) for 3 years...but last year he lost his crown becoz of his ichiban rival neee...Na Dohyun oso known as silent control. Demo he's still cool as usual....man he got that kind of cool aura ah...his face dont show any emotion...

No way man..the more i look at him the more interested i become....god......dis kind of face should be eliminated from dis world...damn it. Yappa sukiyanen!!

2006-12-20T21:05:00.000+08:00

My dream of having a new hp...had just been crushed when my sis said..DONT TRADE IN MY HP!...geez....anyway....i want either LG choclate or Sony Ericsson Z610i.....its very nice....i still remember the advertisement "You know you want me"...."Come and get me"....damn i was really tempted! I was SEDUCED by it!....

haiz...personally i think my blog is boring....everything i post looks boring...no life kind of thing...i wonder how can someone update his/her blog about their idols everyday...wow....everyday i post smthg abt johhny's and things that associated with them....record their vid and upload them...translate them for ur frens...make up comic or story using ur own imaginations...draw ur idols....bla bla bla...so funn..and...it turns out that ur blog become a news site for those japanese idols. I was wondering..from what source do these fans get from...so nice...urayamashii naaaa...HOW and WHERE those pple got to watch all their shows....like in da case of k8...honjani n suka-j.....then all the hot and 1st hand news....can only be obtained thru those japan news.....Americans can get japanese tv channels is it???? uwahh so lucky......Hmm other than that...i oso must be able to read and understand JAPANESE..so from now on...i really dono wat to update anymore...hahah.....ok..maybe once awhile i do have smthg to say...other then tat...let my blog collect dust or become rusty hahaha...oh....how bout lil bit scientific....let my blog be oxidized! haha...wateva..

Oi kengkawan...aku dah ada lagu2 k8 yg baru...nak mp3 bleh mintak aku.Terima kaseh byk2 kepada fansite ryo.

Anyway....k8's latest single..Kanfuu Fighting...really sound like a chinese song...and since the title is KANFUU so i really assume that they did a song abt China..*INTERUPTED*....

O_O...*blink blink*.....OH NO!!! WHAT HAPPEN TO MY DEAR YOKO??!

DIA MCM KENA National Service.....n looks like anak cina guangzhou! *faints*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *u dont want to hear my scream*

I was just abt to talk abt their latest song...n now YOKO u look like a china boy!! i wont say CHINESE but CHINA BOY!.....though he still look so cuteeee..hehe...stilll the japanese cuteness !!!ARRRKKK?????? *my brain just matched him with smthg*.....TENTERA JEPON2 YG DULU JAJAH SINGAPORE!!Dont u think so??? those japanese soldiers....last time one...

tonikaku....when i 1st heard the song..i tot they were singin WA CHINA..WA CHINA...and my OTHER fren heard smthg else...smthg really dirty...only dirty hentai ecchi person like him will think it as TAT THING....ya....abt wa china....when i check the lyrics...it was a REAL JAPANESE WORD...WARACCHAINA means GO AHEAD AND LAUGH.....gawd....i really cant hear the RA part. and got dis one part..when i really tot it was a japanese word..."DORA DONNA"....it sound japanese enough for me....but it turns out to be DRAGON..."DORA GONNA"...= =

Its a total misunderstanding siahz....b4 dis...K8 got a song called Osaka Sukiyanen...well the whole song is talking abt OSAKA....and so Kanfuu Fighting i really tot it would be abt CHINA...but...nope..its not abt china AT ALL...except they include the name CHINATOWN thats all...

Oh and i really love the part Subaru do the YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ part and Ryo's spongebob laugh!

To Mahera: Sebelom Ohkura jadik anak kau..die dah jadik scandal aku....tp takper ah..i dont mind...ohkura's mother is still my fren...so ok ah~...ahahah....i know u'll bless me walaupon anak kau scandal aku hahaha~ Anak kau yg lagi satu tuu...si maru...i think he's really sweet lagi2 dgn lesum pipit die!! aahah...

2006-12-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....from the stage tak tau apa2 at the age of 12 sampailah SEKARANG NI...yg dah TAHU MACAM2 benda tentang jepon....First kerana tgk J-drama...some like JAPAN becoz of their infamous ANIME...cute bishie...beautiful drawing...kanpeki story line that makes u feel as though u're da main character but i'm not...tonikaku wat drama was it?...souda it was love generation...long vacation...GTO...and Food fight!............den i was in love with Lion Heart by SMAP and inofficially became SMAP fan...the 1st japanese guy i know and tot was REALLY HOT AND HANDSOME was...TAKUYA KIMURA!!!the 1st japanese song i tried to sing..was First Love by Utada Hikaru....tell u what...i still remember how difficult it was to even pronounce the romanized japanese! lagikan nyanyi ikot rentak n suara sedap..HAHA...i tot that was..ZETTAI MURI!"absolutely impossible" but now..watashi yaru! haha...and she's also the 1st female artist i like...though at that time i was aware of Ayumi Hamasaki...the 1st japanese actress that i like is Matsu Tatako...but after that i changed to Matsushima Nanako...haha...coz she's really beautiful!!!!the 1st japanese word i know and really got excited after knowing it was....KAWAII! LOL......and my fav show was MUSIC STATION..why? coz i got to know lots of other cute...interesting and some weird japanese talents!

Every weekdays from wednesday to friday....i'll stay up late just to watch a 1 or 2hr japanese drama then followed by a 1hr MUSIC STATION ends ard 1am or 12am.

Everyday go to sch....i'll be talking abt japanese stuffs and even sing those songs with mahera...another one was Husna...she like japan way before me...only that she dont have anyone to rant abt it...and talk abt it...so we became frens and i was da VIRUS...yeah i was da one kecoh2 abt these things in irsyad till i become well known as someone that like JAPANESE STUFFS or japanese wannabe...HAHA....when i found smthg new...i'll tell mahera....if she found smthg new she'll show it to me...den we squeal together...we were like in our own world...ok not sure abt mahera..but i was...HAHA.

For that 2 years...i like Takuya Kimura...ok remember i said abt Music Station(MS)? Yeah...one day i watch that show...and saw another genre i havent check out yet...which is the famous J-rock...so the 1st band i saw and get to know was GLAY..and the 1st Jrock song i listened was Way of Difference..i told mahera abt glay and she said it was COOL and she really like it..she liked the guy with the blue hair...and at that time i REALLY CANT DIFFERENTIATE WHO IS WHO!..it turns out that she likes Hisashi Tonomura..Glay's guitarist..as for me....i dont like it at all..coz they look SCARY...kowaiii...i stick to SMAP and other newer Johhnys boy band like Arashi and kinki kids...den there were news abt takuya's shotgun marriage with shizuka kudo...since tat day...i dont like him anymore...i was so called heart broken...and i dont respect him anymore coz...well yeah SHOTGUN MARRIAGE.Hey i was YOUNG ok....

Time goes on....one day...i watch MS...some of the guest they featured was...Fujiki Naohito..i knew him through Love Revolution...damn he is handsome....den got dis 1 weird guy..i tot was REALLY GOOD LOOKING...ok more to the cool side..coz tat time he was wearing shades...the host ask that weird yet cool looking guy abt his weird hobby...collecting VACUUM CLEANERS..WAT?...yes...cool, weird and latest eds of vacuum cleaners. Now that was kind of TURN OFF for me....so that weird yet cool lookin guy perform his song titled:*&^%$#@! i was still young n i know nothing man...but i tell u...I HATED THE SONG...all that i can make out was NOISES!!! arghhh..forget it...such a turn off....

Another day of watching MS....i saw the host talking to an angmoh..it was just like last time they invitedbritney spears and even madonna....but dis angmoh knows how to talk JAPANESE..perfect japanese...with a very cool and calm voice...he didnt even need any english word to help him express himself!! VOILA...though he got PERFECT BLUE EYES i tot he was quite small for an angmoh guy...den i got to know his name HYDE...OK CONFIRM ANGMOH. Host said: "Jya stand by".....HYDE performed his song Evergreen...during that few seconds....i tot he was da most HANDSOME GUY IN DIS WORLD. Ok enough..look how shallow i was....

Mahera burned a cd...she lent it to me...she told me to listen to 1 great song..that she tot i would like it very much..and she heard that the band that sang it was also damn popular..just like glay....ok...i gave it a try....it was one of the last 2 or 3 tracks....when i first heard the vocalist's voice i was STRUCK TO THE CORE..the 1st thing that passedthru my mind was...he is good looking and young..da VOICE WAS DAMN GOOD!..skali....in da middle of the song come all the guitar...the sounds came crashing to my ear drum...damn...wat the hell was that...i asked mahera wat song was that n who sang it? it was Honey by L'Arc~en~Ciel.....then it was fated...i was bound to know this band...while listening to the 1 n only japanese radio sta. fm96.3..the DJ mentioned L'arc en ciel and their members doing solos...Tetsu-tetsu69.....hyde-HYDE and the rest i cant make out...but those 2 names...I KNOW DEM!...I'VE HEARD IT B4..the one who made that nice honey song was dis band...and tat weird yet cool looking guy was Tetsu and tat HANDSOME ANGMOH was HYDE!...

I'm sure i did complained to mahera that i hate tetsu..coz his music sux.....or....................ok i'm sure i didnt said that...coz tat cool image of his still stuck in my head...LOOKS CAN DO WONDERS OK!....maybe i just said....i just dont like tetsu becoz that song of his...the one tat i still donno the title is soooooo noisy dont think it can even be called as a SONG....i dont like it......IT WAS FATED that...mahera lent me another CD....n let me listen to 1 song by Tetsu69.....she said dis song is totally different than the one 1 hate...it was totally calm and very nice....ok i gave it a try...guess wat...IT WAS THE RIGHT MOVE! starting from that I LOVE TETSU...i love his works...i love the band...i love his talents. then the days had just started.

The song that i USED to hate was Shinkirou and the nice song was 15 1/2...and hyde is not angmoh...100% pure japanese and he's not YOUNG when i 1st know him..he was 30-31 oready. I was such a BOKE. I come out with "looks can do wonders" becoz of Ryo....argh its really hard to ignore him he's ARGH!!! unexplainable....

Ok kenapalah aku update blog pasal sejarah aku dijajah jepon?...psl tadi malam aku tido....entah macam mana aku termimpi Tet-chan...dah lama seh...in tat mimpi pon i felt tat nostalgic feeling biler aku muda2 dulu...dlm mimpi tuu...tetsu ada and i was really crazy for him...till i said this to myself.."Sorry Yoko. Aku tak perlukan kau lagi" DAMN...i really mean it seh dlm mimpi tuu....MAK KAU....mcm nak terkopak isi hati aku biler i said that..coz i oso like YU i like kanjani8!!!...but i think i really miss tetsu...i miss larc....i miss their songs. Jahat seh aku...just becoz they're having their solos...aku buat bodoh dgn jrg...psl i really dont like their solo work...tetsu69 exceptional ah...aku fangirl per....tp...i still like LARC as a whole. I hope when larc's back kanjani8 is still on man!...i'm still a newbie for a Kanjani8 fan..hhahahah~ EITO RANGER SUKIYANEN!Though 1 is rock and the other is pure pop songs...they have 1 thing in common...ALL OF THEM ARE FROM OSAKA!~

i really cant believe that i still remember my past vividly....

2006-12-07T22:16:00.000+08:00

I got you....

PGF O

You can do Oooo....

Dare ni mo mitenai kimi teii

PGF O

Kitto daijoubu dakara

PGF O

I can do Oooo....

Sekai de hitotsu no ai no ima

PGF O

Everyday futari soba de yukou

1 2 3

2006-12-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

PGF O...

2006-12-03T19:45:00.000+08:00

uwahh i havent study since morning....i woke up 12pm.....n den play SIMS deluxe hahaha...eat...watch tv....hahaha yes thats all....k before i start study...lets update blog!

Yesterday i went to azfar's hse and START on our mini FC BNF proj....actually it was given on the 1st week of 2nd sem but smlm baru start..haha....in fact my job havent finish yet....hehe...kk i know i'll get it done soon...I was quite excited to go to azfar's hse....haha...1st time mahz...among us...his parents is the youngest...oh n den when i saw his whole family....geez...it really reminds me adalah dis person pny family.....especially BAPAK AZFAR!!!*gulp*.....despite of those tedious workload we got...we still had fun together...oSai n xinyu bullied me to the very core till i'm embarrassed...sutha as usual bz with her hp....and azfar's maid really asked me an UNREASONABLE QS...god knows wat went thru her mind....

That day rite...i got ask my ma why are guys sooo fussy and manja sgt....it goes like this...my ma was kneading dough for epok2....den i heard my father said..."ma i'm hungry...wanna eat"....no response from my ma....den he said that again...."ma abg hungry"....den i was quite annoyed with him...becoz i know my ma is very bz...n why cant he serve the food himself...well...its natural for someone to feel hungry and find food for himself.....n why shld u wait for someone to serve u when u can take the food urself n fill ur stomach in seconds!..since i know next he will direct that sentence to me...so i hid myself 1st. Den i go bside my ma n ask WHY IS HE LIKE THAT?....the ans goes like this...ma said...guys are born to be like that....they know how to take the food themself...its just that they LOVE the ladies to serve them....manja i guess?....that one acceptable....but the NOT SO BEST PART is....if u are in da midst of smthg...he will still call u and ask u to serve them....hmph....den dis reminds me of....my fren...theres dis 1 time he asked me to fill his bottle from the water cooler becoz he wanted to go toilet....den the next time he asked me to do it again....n he got no reason not to do it himself...so i said NO. Den he said...why NOT? i tot gerls mmg kena buatkan guys dis kind of things? .....hmm so i accepted his request....its not smthg big..but it did clear my qs....yalah..i know i lack in dis kind of experience...

U know wat lately...i got really weird dreams...i dreamt of Johhny Depp w/Orlando Bloom....uh i was Johnny depp's assistant...a pirate assistant....den...i dreamt lots of MAHERA, APIJOT with YAYA??!...FAB4s...AINUL AND SUHAILAH!?.....BILL CLINTON??...god all the weird2 things came into my dream...mary give me damn big cakelah....and got several times i dreamt of a guy that i like... his presence is really familiar...but i still cant make out who he is.....he was really a nice person...yah i know i like aloottttt of guys...thats why i donno who i like HAHAHAHA....

For mahera: Kalo ko stress and takde mood nak blajar....u sing PGF song....i give u the lyrics...

PGF O, you can do Oooo, Dare ni mo mitenai kimi teii,

PGF O Kitto daijoubu dakara

PGF O i can do Oooo, Sekai de hitotsu no ai no ima

PGF O everyday, futari soba de yukou

1 2 3~

Aku tak jadik kerja kat Royce...too many projs due after sch reopen..and my mom balik kampong 24-26....so....kalo nak ada sleepover bleh arrange...cuma BUDGET i donno where to get...aku KOPAK GILER.

I cant wait for early spring 2007!!! Tetsu new single.....ARGH....aku tunggu dah lame sgttt!!~~anyway saper tau early spring tuu biler????

Aku baru tau yg NewS means NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH.

2006-11-26T23:51:00.000+08:00

For that moment i wished that all the guys DIE.

Then i saw my msn dispic. Yu.Kanjani8. i donno dem but do i really want them dead?

I saw sesshoumaru...he's also a male.

The songs that i'm listening to is a guy's voice

Larc...do i hate them?

Tetsu....isnt he's a guy?

Can i live without guys?

I guess not.

But i hate them.

Guys that i met in my life all disgust me.

They're all disgusting creature.

Die.

Then i remembered, even cats i prefer the males ones....my fav elfo also a male and i like baby boy.

Why cant i live w/o having a male creature in my life?

In my eyes, they are powerful...they can make me feel secure w/o any weapons.Even though they can be small in size...if they make it clear to me that they are GUYS..show me that they are born to be leaders....i will bend to them..respect them for GOOD. thats my sincere feelings abt them.

I cant help but to fall for guys.

Its really heart breaking if it is them also that make u hate them.

Disgusting creature.

2006-11-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

Some attracted to the eyes...some long fingers....some lips.....and lots of other attractions....but i'm attracted to smiles and cute personalities. When a person smiles at me...it can lighten my whole day....just by reminiscing that moment again and again...a few mins ago...i looked at those hari raya pics with my ex-classmates....it was nice....becoz they were all smiling...its not just for the sake of taking pics....it was more of a contented and glad smiles......it was a smile of true feelings....a smile after so long separated and now united....

On that day....i think i was too happy till i donno how to react to my friends....i have a difficulties expressing my feelings to people....some hug...some cried....some kiss... some squeal...some say they miss that person...but i cant...when the feelings are REAL and im too happy.....i may seem very unaffectionate...in actual...my body just cant react to my feelings....i tend to capture every moment just by observing...analyzing..listening.......as for my frens they're just having fun...catching up with one and another....gossiping....drooling at some cute boys that have become handsome guys...laughing...joking....teasing....taking pics..singing...and the all time fav: MAKING RANDOM NOISES reaching DAMN HIGH DECIBELS...and all the while...i keep observing them....thats just me...i donno how to engage in some interesting conversation...so i just sit down and listen to anything i can...well so far....its just like old times....its the same old friends of mine...i know what they'll be doing everytime they meet each other...

1 thing for sure...they're all grown up....but no matter what there always be that childish side of dem....oh and i just notice that ALL my guy frens...they're very handsome and interesting....dont u think so? Ruknuddin really caught my attention...that nonsense guy is really captivating with all his nonsense drama and sentences...i did said he's cute 2 times ahaha....it doesnt have any special meaning..its just tat he is really cute...and i really like how he responded to my praises...it was a positive one...unlike some IMMATURE guys...or BOYS....that just turn away..or feel disgusted becoz the person who praised them wasnt some pretty gerl. Its not tat when ppl say u're cute or handsome means that gerl really fell in love with him.

I realised something about myself. I seldom squeal or get obesessed over someone anymore. Maybe i just had it enough during my younger days or like kenn said...i've matured a bit. My hormones is more stable.But i will still flawn my hyperactive and side neee...and there still a lot more to go thru in dis life.

END

Some updates if my frens are wondering how i have been lately..

Sick to the core. yet no fever...immunity figthing those foreign microorganism

Dis weeks BMIC was damn fun...i get to see bacterias swimming under the microscope...i learnt how to stain dem with different colours...i shld agree that most of them shocked me to the core and disgust me seh...they're just GOD! WAT IS THAT. i hate it to see when the bacts clustered together...it makes it more gross!!!

Schwork never ending. I want to be in the directors list...tats da only easiest way to get to U.

Sharul is long forgotten oready.haha.

Insyallah aku kerja part time kat Royce. Choc Shop.

Yesterday, in my food chem lab....theres this 1 hot chinese guy smiled at me w/o any reason. Maybe he finds me amusing kaypoing and peeking inside his class lab. he's kenny from chem eng year 2. haha. tat was a cute smile man. domo~

owari

2006-11-08T17:49:00.000+08:00

"cute ah laki ni..mcm nak cium die!!"

"3 cute ladies"

2006-11-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

"alahai comel nyeeee.....tak sangka die senyum kat aku balik....mcm nak bawak balik seh"

"mamoritai...."

"dah lame seh tak tgk terebi"

"aku jalan raya 3 kali jek..sedih sehh"

"Escherichia coli....Vibrio parahaemolyticus....streptococcus..."

"damn all those encounters"

"sick of osaka go china...waa china waa china...koi ni yaburetei...dora donna maiyoritei dora donna odoridasu...moerou kanfuu fighting~"

*Ryo punya ketawa sounds like spongebob's.
*Ryo joget sexy ah....hati aku tertawan tgk die joget

Grilled Chicken Foldover....

2006-11-04T19:30:00.000+08:00

Yeah i had real fun yesterday and just now....hahah.....with two favourite BAKAs....hantu n pijots...

mane tak fun seh straight after sch i went to meet hantu n pijots....we watch movie..sinking of japan...*oh come on its not true...not now...god plsss*...den as usual window shopping.....in da midst of that mesti ada jek gelagat giler2 jepon kita. Tat part...was really fun....

Balik naik 190 n dgr cite pijots yg dramatic tuu..n just b4 turun hantu decide to do smthg so sudden...well aku pon takde apa2 nak buat...rindu jrg....agree jek ah....best seh....1 whole nite of fun~ ahaha

Konon da next day nak jln raya...yerlah tuu jln raya dlm mimpi..hahaha...in the end....jln raya ke mcd....tp best ah..best gilerrrr...psl jumpa shahrul~...niat baik ah nak blajar...skali mmg betol kena distract ah...hish....pulak tuu assignment yg nk dibuat tuu mmg makan hati..so aku take the chance to drool at him jek.

Dis shahrul is just for fun...haha...terjumpa die accidently....he appeared just at the right time....when i was damn depress and alone....best eh?? ada pengubat hati...walaupon tak kenal die..haha

At 7.40pm, Tuesday...

"1 grilled chicken fold meal pls, the drink change to green tea" *only half-awake*

"nak tambah apa2? apple pie?"

"uh no thanks"

"nak upsize?"

*speechless**confused**stares*.........."uh no"*smiles* [dis guy...he's chinese....why talk malay siahz]

*smiles* "nak makan sini?"

*brain processing* "uh yeah...makan sini"

*puts fries n green tea* "uh awak duduk kejap eh nnti saya hantar ur meal"

*scan scan*....S.H.A.H.R.U.L. *damn of coz!! he's a malay...tats why he talk malay to me! baka!*

*switch to some brain generator for a good scanning and data processor**scan scan*.....he's....cute....he reminds me of someone.....*brings tray to table*

*scan scan from far*...DAMN...he does look like him !@#$%^&!!!!

After a few minutes....he came to me...with my grilled chicken fold

"Miss...here's ur grilled chicken fold"....*smiles*

*smiles* "thank u~ anyway....can i have some chilli sauce?"

*blur* "uh? ur chilli sauce finish oready?"

"Uh...well..no....just tat u havent give me some just now...."

*blur**processing* "ohhh suree sorry"

*smiles**u're just too tired arent u.....well i'm too*

He came back to give me some chilli sauce...

Tak sangka die selenge mcm aku jugak..HAHAHAH...
Thanks Shahrul....

He's just a typical malay boy tat looks like a chinese guy....i assume tat he's younger than me by 1 or 2 year....small build...with fair yellow skin...just a little bit taller than me....and he got a pleasant voice...well..BETTER than tat someone's voice.

~owari~

2006-10-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

*blocked nose* *throbbing head* *sore throat* *shivering* i'm sick man....

At last....got to meet my frensss though not all were there...i'm soo happy...i dont feel lonely for tat moment of time with them...same like yesterday..when fiz accompany me to TP...when she step in the sch with me.....suddenly i feel my TP days "WILL" be better....more meaning...more fun....what a wishful tot....i feel like she belong there....or more of MY FRENS belongs to me...lol.....selfish hazzy....at that moment...i was reminded abt something i guess everyone remembers....that...life will be more fun or meaningful with pple that u have fun being with....not THINGS that surrounds u...

somehow...i think yesterday...i was kinda nervous for the iftar....its between nervous and eager for yesterday....i donno why...and i think i worry or think tooo much abt goin there....but i cant remember i felt worried or nervous or thinking too much abt it...i know i do remember abt it n bring epok2~I said like dis..becoz...isnt it if u get to dream abt something that related with what will happen soon means u think too much abt it? coz...yeah i did dreamt abt smthg...i dreamt that i was at some desert with my mom and sis...we were damn tired thirsty hungry...we kept wondering abt the desert...like searching something.....den got this one part...the sun was really hot...my mom n sis cant tahan anymore...they go under the shade of a big rock i guess?...they called for me..to go oso...but i said..no..i dont want to....i stopped wondering...but i lay down on that hot burning sand facing the damn bright sky...i cant remember anything after that...but the emotion at that time was really strong...it was anger...frustration...i felt annoyed with someone...n now i know who...it was my mother i'm annoyed with...before sleep i know i was annoyed with her abt smthg....lol...

Still at that desert.....we just reached a town....n now i'm with my frens...i still remember some faces...mardi...ainul..suhailah..jj...fatim..mera..mur...tan...dot..k enough no point putting all their names...but they were there!! really...i was in sch..i think.....in fact the weather was still vivid in my mind..it was damn hot bright dry and sunny day...it was dusty....den the next moment...i remember a guy...a guy was eyeing me from far....he smiled at me..well how shld i describe the smile?...a naughty one?...or sinister? nevermind...tonikaku...he vanished from my sight after that...suddenly he came from behind my back...and grab hold of me....oh..well i wear tudung like tudung sekolah biasa...his hand came under my tudung...n stop at my right chest...shld i say caress??...i donno...he did whisper something to my ears....it was something sweet...but it SOUND EVIL....i was strucked by his actions...i didnt stop him...nor i said anything...i was damn shocked..and afraid..my heart was beating very fast...coz...it wasnt something normal of that guy to do something daring to me....den he went of....and then i was left alone....in the middle of busy place....

After that..i was with my frens...tat guy came to me again...he said hi to me...and hold my hand for a moment...my frens were all watching me n him....i was confused that time....WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?...no...its HIM...he changed....he was never like this...this daring...this loving....n den went away again dis time with his frens...next....i was in class...i sat beside...ameera...den that guy came again with his frens..he sat beside me....shoving ameera to the other side of me....he put his hand ard my waist....n drag his chair closer to mine....he looked into my face..and said smthg nice and sweet again....and his hand stop at my right chest again...i cant do anything except staring at him with confusion...and my mind flooded with qs....lots of them...he never said nice things to me before this....all dis while he only stare at me...growl.....jeling...and walk away from me and never even touch....but why?...wats dis??....theres another one oso....he was sitting at a park i guess...n den h called me...and I CAME!! TO HIM...BESIDE HIM!..damn...the real me...was fighting...why did i came to him...it was like..damn weak...i listen to him...i do what he wants....i let him do whatever he desired....its as though i cant let go of his grip on me....

Did...he leashed me?That thing that i created in my mind....the guy i used to love....cant i turn back? cant i forget him? dameka? is it too late? once he belongs to me..is it that now I BELONG TO HIM?...he was like trying to seduce me...lure me back to love him.... i hope not....i never want tat to happen to me again.....when i woke up....i notice...yes..i was shocked with tat sudden change.....and i totally wish i didnt get that dream....rubbish..

~owari~

2006-10-19T02:49:00.000+08:00

Some pple are just ridiculous arent they?*sigh*

Theres this guy i add at msn or was it him that added me? mah nandemonai...watever it is..i cant remember why i got to know him or from where.He's ex-juniedian. Tonikaku...he msged me just now..and asked me do i have frenster n want me to add him..so i did..reason? becoz he wanted to show me smthg. Den he sent me a testi...in it...was a utube link and a msg: Tetsu no good....well for a moment..i tot to myself...which part of tetsu u mean?...oh well..so i watch that INCREADIBLY BLUR AND MUFFLED SHORT CLIP OF A GUY STRUMMING AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR....ok..so? wat is he trying to say?...well...obviously he meant tetsu's bass skill....he wanted to tell me that tetsu's is NO GOOD and tat his FREN is doing such an IMPRESSIVE WORK than TETSU...so tetsu lose in that so called his own mind created competition....thats wat he told me....haiz talk big pulak tuu....whether he want to compare or prove that i was wrong...i'm not sure...well..i tot that was kinda funny....

First thing first...tats an acoustic guitar...then tetsu is a what???a street music player?? FOR GOODNESS SAKE....he's a BASSIST and band leader of tat WELL KNOWN JAPANESE ROCK BAND..L'ARC EN CIEL.*shrugs*i play no guitar...but at least i know how to make a SIMPLE COMPARISON...it shld be FAIR and BALANCED. at least same instrument lah...some decent song that can really show off the "talent".

And watever it is...i dont know what had gone into that guy's head...its like he was really intrigued by what i said last time...i was PRAISING tetsu coz they asked me WHO I LIKE and WHY...it seems tat my praises and tots abt tetsu as TETSU's FAN really made a remark on him...i hope it doesnt impact on him tat much...and only God knows whats in his mind...he cant agree with me....come to think of it...DID I ASKED HIM TO AGREE WITH ME?!?*sigh*

i was only 16 years old when i first converse with him....imagine...a very young gerl who really yearns to see her fav musician...her idol...her obsession...WHY MUST AN OLDER GUY BE REALLY AFFECTED BY THOSE KIND OF FANGERL PRAISES?!?!..i'm not some professional music critiques....in fact dis is not the 1st time he showed me OTHER PPLE talents or telling me off that TETSU IS NO GOOD.....i always told him nicely...i donno how to judge dem..but TETSU's played it very well...well enough to make me PRAISE HIM and LIKE HIM....it just sounds nice to MY God's sophiticated creation..the Eardrums. I did sent him some songs as he requested..songs tat i tot the bass was REALLY NICE....it doesnt hurt to let him hear...if dont want dem just delete or cancel the file~as easy as ABC.

We never talk abt personal things and our chats are really short and only once in a blue moon. So why?Why must he take it so seriously? Why TETSU? He's a young guy and wth...compare to that 37 year old guy...HOW BIG THE DIFFERENCE IS...EXPERIENCE KNOWLEDGE SKILLS everything....Its infuriating u know...to know this kind of pple exist...for that testi..i just accept it...well i can delete it anytime...but i did sent him a testi oso....i told him...IF U'RE TALENTED U'LL ALWAYS BE. SO DONT WORRY. DONT BROOD OVER IT SO MUCH.IF U WANNA SEE SOMEONE THAT PLAY GUITAR. SEE THIS, THOUGH I DONT PUSH U TO DO SO. i showed him a clip of miyavi playing guitar...the one electric guitar in Oresama and acoustic guitar at some radio station.

Well he asked for it..TAKE THAT...even in his own mind created COMPETITION...he's a sore loser...baka...I say what I THINK is good and awesome. Did i ask you to agree with me? Were my words, thoughts and praises too precious and valuable for you to prove that u are talented too?..if he wanna prove that he n his companions are very talented....then make a move...go out showcase ur talent and see if u're make it BIG...if successful then u can have all the praises u ever wish in this world...*though wat use does it have other then making u a bigheaded person*....blockhead....kail panjang sejengkal, lautan pula hendak diduga.

Tonikaku..dis is the link for that clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGdStLtvc48

~owari~

Salam Aidilfitri

2006-10-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

Selamat malam dan selamat hari rayaaaa...cuma tinggal menghitung beberapa hari sajeee.."ok lama jgk ah...kira2 12 ari...tapi lagu hari raya dah hot...mood aku pon dah tukar~~" ku ucapkan lagi selamat lebaran kepada semua umat islam terutama sekali kepada teman2 ku yg tersangat ku rindui~~~....apa lagik eh? ohhh ku ingin susun sepuloh jari dan minta maaf atas segala salah silapku dan kata2 kasar ku....tak sabar ku menunggu masa utk bersama teman2 tercinta ku sekalian~...moga2 mereka semua dalam keadaan sihat dan gembira disisi keluarga~nampaknya komputer aku dah dipenuhi dgn lagu2 hari raye yg merdu dgn senikata lagu yg menyayat hati~hehe...hows was tat...my malay....hahah blergh...sakit otak aku pilih perkataan yg aku jarang pakai..lol

Anyway...tgh mengelamun dgr lagu raya....aku terfikir....apa agaknya terasa kalo kita2 beraya di jepon mcm mana azan kat sana?...dgn suasana yg pernuh kelainan dan rasa janggal dgn hanya segelintir umat islam yg boleh jumpa...apatah lagik melayu kat sana...pulak tu aku rasa skrg ni dah nak masok musim salji? or maybe tgh autumn...sejok seh....tgh puasa...teringat masakan mak...ketupat....lontong..rendang...sambal goreng pengantin...udang sambal tumis...kuih raya..baju raya....berbelanja di bazar hari raye....lagu raya...DUIT RAYA!! mak di...sebak seh hati memikirkan...

tp...ada gereknye jgk..fikirkanlah.kat sini takleh main mercun...jepon bleh kan??? bunga api semua bleh kan kat jepon?? n then..sekali sekala dapat rasakan rindu yg teramatlah sgt..kalo sekarang ni...disamping keluarga asyiklah buat mak terpekik sana sini...bebel sana sini suroh kemas uma dan tolong masak...gadoh dgn adek beradik..kecoh satu rumah...nanti kalo beraya kat jepon...kita kena masak sendiri...takkan lah pagi syawal nak makan ikan bakar..sup miso..pergi lah carik kedai2 melayu yg terpelosok kat negeri jepon tuu...carik kerisik...daun kunyit..daun kelapa..santan serai...hah kau..mengelabah nak carik benda tuu suma...salah2 kena order benda2 kecik gitu online.....by that time aku sure semua dah tak sabar nak menjamu lauk pauk melayu tuu~~ ahahah..nnti start email kakak...telipon mak...tny resepi....kalo kes lagu raya senang jek...bleh rip jek...maklom lah dah maju..ada internet..mana pulak nak carik baju kurung ker kebaya?? tak syiok ah....takkan hari raya pakai kimono~ lol

Mungkin...stakat makanan raye..baju..lagu semua nye boleh didapatkan..tp yg tetap tak sama...suasana...sape lah kita nak visit after solat ari raye kat masjid tokyo....time kluar dgn baju kurung yg berwarna warni...mesti anak2 jepon tu tgk semacam kat kita...tgk dgn penuh kehairanan...kalo kat singapura...jumpa atok nenek..makcik pakcik mak busu paklong pakngah...apa2lagik lah nnti kalo kat sana paling2 pon...kita ajaklah anak2 jepon yg nak tgk mcm mana kita rayakan....manelah tau ada teman2 jepon yg nak rase apa tu ketupat...rendang..lepat...kuih2 raya..

Anyway bento members...think abt that ah....mcm best jgk ah idop sendiri lah katakan

Aku dah tukar lagu blog..lagu raya ah...Gembira Bersama di Hari Raya -Othman Hamzah..kalo nak lagu2 lain pon bleh mintak aku~

To fiz: amcam jadik iftar kat irsyad? dpt jumpa abg ai??

~wassalam~

2006-10-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

Oiiiiii!!! mera...brp lama dah ko take to buat that tagged thingy lerh....*kicks*...

Anyway...i'm sentimental rite now...but not the sad2 sentimental...its the happy one...i suddenly feel touched and appreciated....to have such a lovely ass kicking frens....like bentos members...how i miss laughing and playing around with them~

Among those ass kicking frens i have..theres this one person tat interest me very much...i guess this is her speciality...i donno why.....especially the way she thinks..her works..her creativity....her sentence...her silly yet interesting answers not to mention all her COLOURFUL swearing words...and the way she able to adapt to new surrounding and mix with all kinds of pple...in fact her taste in clothes and music never go wrong with me~

She was someone i look up to....but indirectly.....in my eyes...she was someone with strong personality and brave.....when i had probs or depression...she was always there...she made promises that boost up my beliefs and liven me up....and she does understand abt my feelings...maybe not all..but she so far she did most of the things tat i wanted..despite of all this i felt inferior to her....sometimes awkward...i cant stand the silence btwn us when we go out together....theres always something that she did to me just becoz she DOESNT want me to feel the REAL DAMN PAIN...i was kinda shocked of her knowledge abt me...i was such a fool when i let myself hurt by someone who doesnt even care that i exist...how selfish of me to make her in pain putting her in difficult position to calm and comfort me..in fact i still remember wat another ass kicking fren said to me abt the person who hurt me. i WILL NEVER talk abt my emotions to her...rant or drool abt guys in front of her ...its becoz...she did saw my real depressed state and i'm damn embarrassed by my own actions.

Oh and i still remember tat sudden invitation to her hse...just to translate her casshern and miyavi's movie...tats kinda lame excuse to make me go there...i knew there was smthg else...baka girl..and she did stammered when talking with me at the phone.

i watched her properly...and saw that she's the kind that thinks 1st b4 saying anything....she's not the kind who babble everything tat passes her mind...uh well except those COLOURFUL words....she took the painful effort just to make her frens really happy....everything tat she does will melt her frens heart ..not becoz she's cute or what..but becoz of her sincerity...tats what i trully felt abt her....eventhough in my eyes she's strong...i can see her softer side..its really fragile..but i still cant grasp it completely....maybe tats why she concealled it perfectly from everyone...anyway...theres always the time when i saw her DARK AURA....when u sense it...never provoke her...better to be away from her...

She was way damn cool to me...all this i realised when my very close fren was taken away from me...uh n thats when i was 15 years old....eventhough i befriended her when we're 7 years old i just get the chance to knoe her during tat age...actually theres 4 of us and this 2 other gerls...we live near to each other so we go sch and went back home together...thats where the bond started...

I still hold on to tat promise...i 'm not sure whether she still remember it or not....tat time it was just the two of us that started this japanese infatuation....but whatever it is....its ok..becoz she'll be having her own reason..i must stop being selfish..i owed her lots of things..and i doubt if i ever be there when she need someone...

I always said that i miss those fun times but we need to grow up and get the hell out from out cocoon.Since theres still time....i need to tell my thoughts nee..Just smthg i learnt from sesshoumaru-sama...sometimes it's not always abt saving ur love ones...but always fear to lose them.

2006-10-09T01:49:00.000+08:00

Moshi moshi~~~yeoboseyoo~~~~

Yokattaa...just finish buat epok2 again~oh here's the epok2 we made..its called epok2 pusar its different from the normal epok2....inti kentang and daging..50cents each....

Oh anyway...i was too exhausted yesterday...n a sudden depression came...so i cant sleep...though i k.o at 7am till 2pm...lol....anyway...as usual..i dreamt...abt me and my family...my parents hate me and i was damn rebellious...they disown me.....and guess what i do?...lol. i ran away from home...i was damn angry tat time...i cant remember abt what though...and at last they went panic and search for me all over singapore...what the hell...dont underestimate me...hahaah i ran away from home when i was 6 years old! The search continues and at last my sis came to me and said...yo...abah and mak promise to take u in back..if u change..what the hell i dont want them to take me back..but in the end yeah i went home and they brought me to sentosa...HAHAH*lame*..yeah i still remember we went for underwater world..though it was alot more different from the REAL underwater world....and somehow..mahera was there...she was damn daring she wanted me to parachuting with her..WTH...in the end...only she did it...but i was really scared when she pushed me to the edge but hey i'm big mera...ur weight cant do much to me!! lol!!!!

Last one...my view changed to irsyad...= =... time irsyad got some function..and they invited siti nurhaliza...HAHAH wat siahz..i was walking alone beside the musollah pathway....den siti was there..she dressed like a princess...she was also alone...i decided to smile and beri salam to her..i did tat and salam her hand...*wat was i thinking* she answered my salam and smiled...but she was kinda shocked and defensive...defend against wat i oso donno..maybe she tot i was one of her crazy fans hahaha...so we went our own way...suddenly...in front of my way..got lots of irsyadian boys scream "SITI!!! tungguuuu"....GOD WAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! FANBOYS?!!? FROM IRSYAD??!?! MY JUNIORS?!?!? HALEM?!? HALIM?! SHAIFUL!?? JAFNI?!?! and some other jrs i cant remember...i turned to look at siti...she got panic and ready to run away...ah so thats wat she wanted to prevent from... no wonder she look teragak2....hahah...i went to her and ask..."yo!! ok or not?!?"...suddenly she grab hold of my hand n said..HELP ME!!RUN WITH ME!! ONLY U CAN HELP ME! pls!!!

Me: O_O...huh what?? *tryin to let go of her hand*....

Siti: *runs and drag me*

crazy fans: OI!!!!apa ko buat!!!mana ko nak pegi dgn die!! SHE's OURS!!!!DONT TOUCH HERRR!!!

Me: wth...she's the one touching me....= =

Siti: *hugs me*

Me: ARGH!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!!!

Siti: *shocked and let go my hand* i'm sorry..i was too afraid...

Me: SO WHAT?!?! u afraid n u drag me?!? and HUG ME?!?!

crazy fans: *stop and stare*

Me: what is wrong with u??!!

Siti: Uh well...u look ok...better than them....

Me: O_O........w h a t d o u m e a n b e t t e r? *wait..i'm a gerl rite??...or is it she's...not straight*

Siti: its better to be with u...and i can get rid of them if u help me...try... YOU hold my hand.

Me:O_o.....*holds siti's hand*

crazy fans: OIIIIIIII!!! what u doing...she's oursss!!!! damn u....how come u got herrr!!!

Me: *gulp*....*put siti's hand to my cheek*

crazy fans: U'r DEAD!!!

Siti: See?

Me: *confuse to hell*....*in her mind: i tot i like GUYS?? den what abt yoko?? tetsu???sesshoumaru?? they're guys rite?? and i'm their GIRL fan rite???I never like any gerl rite?? i'm not homo rite?!!?*

crazy fans:u'R DEAD!!!! SIAP KO!!!!

Me and siti: CABOTTTTT!!!!!!

It was 2pm.....my eyes were wide open. lol...that was the 1st time i dreamt abt siti and caught in a guy body...i guess....geez....me a guy?!?..noooo way!!!! i wonder how did i looked like??...hahha...handsome like kame?? ryo?? ohkura?? yoko?? hyde?? LMAO.

~the end~

2006-10-06T01:50:00.000+08:00

i'm the worst seh...despicable!!!.i cant believe it i said tat to myself...ok lets put tat aside....

Just finished buat epok2~...i cant wait when can i make those raya cookies!!!hehe

kyaaaa~~~urayamashiii naaaaa....my frens got to meet each other...but not me!!! iftar together...yasashiii naaaa.....haiz....i want to help okan but at the same time..i wanna have fun with my frens too!!!*sigh*....demo i can only choose one neee...yadaaa!!! arghhhh

To mardi and mera: Ano abt yg plan korang...which one u want ah?? the interview?? or vid?? or drama???....i agree to all....just tell me what to do. No more bubble hazzy. Oh yes i know i am. and i'm really sorry for ruining u guys punya mood neee.Whatever reason i have it is still considered as bubble nee~~~

Abt my previous post....i did said abt those dreams rite..anyway yesterday...i went to sleep 7am and wake up 2pm lol....oh yeah i got another dream....it was really random...hahaha i went racing...and got accident....running away from demons....and its damn pack with johnnies....packing things to run away from home with my sister..den ended up forgeting many things...!!! kyaaaaa~...den i remember dis 1 part....i was at home with 10+ johnnies members as my guests...while chatting suddenly HE popped up from somewhere...den i remember i was squealing for korean drama my lovely sam soon...he sat on the sofa for a while then walk away....he went into bedroom and switch on the tv lying on the bed...tats the only vivid thing i remember...Oh and he never say anything to me but we always ended up living in the same house...quarell...fight over little things*eyes shooting lasers at each other*...fight over food...fight for the toilet....he eat my food.... i'm stubborn and he's the determined one.....what a dream sey...

~Sesshoumaru is my hero~

I'm a part time Patissier!!! Happy ramadhan and selamat ari rayee

2006-10-05T04:07:00.000+08:00

What in the world was i thinking abt!!...god...i downloaded abt 10 pc games at 1 time..and start playin all of it in 1 day....not good...delete...donno how to play....uninstall..lol...geez feels like i abused my lappy..hehe *sayang notebook*

To mahera: neee aku nak pinjam warcraft bleh tak??? aku and abg ipar aku nak pinjam ah nak main...n kalo ada game best2 yg lain aku nak pinjam jgk~~~ onegaiii

Anyway kan....i believe that i've get over that jr of mine...the feelings had subsides....it was difficult... i passed that difficult stage oready...but it seems tat, up till now i still dreamt abt him...well...its like...he isnt the main character anymore..but he's always there...when i dreamt of yoko...he's there...dream of sesshou..he's there...spoil ah....such a pest sey.....

i feel very neutral rite now....but why must he be in my dream...haiz hopeless..........

Just now....he sent that what the heck movie taste test....while waitin inuyasha to dwld...i took the test ah...oh well...the result shows tat my movie taste is totally different from his!! LOL....i was damn relieved...i just dont want to expect any kind of compatibility in EVERYTHING we do in dis world..used to expect but not anymore...coz i'm really embarrassed of my past feelings towards him...lol....i was still young that time....

To my dear frens....ano...dis ramadhan sorry ah i really cant go out neee...i need to help my mom buat epok2 to sell it....gomen nee....i hope u all can understand and forgive me.....i did spend most my time with u all last time...but dis time i feel tat i need to help her neee....she's oso important..gomen..hontoni gomen....

Ohh and do come to my hse nnti for hari raya!! i made 4 types of kuih myself!!! my own recipes!!!!

~owari~

2006-10-04T03:23:00.000+08:00

Got tagged by saisai..........

3 names you go by
1. haz
2. nini
3. wani

3 physical things you like abt urself
1. eyes
2. smile
3. bone structure especially face n shoulder.

3 physical things you dislike abt urself
1. my butt
2. my weak hands
3. basically all parts tat have xcessive fats.

3 parts of my heritage
1. malay
2. indian
3. Chinese (I’m mixed). I hope tat ans the qs. I don’t get what it wants actually.

3 things you cant stand
1. Humans that go overboard with anything coz when it happens, my anger will oso go overboard.
2. Sarcasm
3. Humans that IRRITATES me.

3 things that scare you
1. when pple tat I love passes away.
2. Die in a tragic death
3. death and the day after *is that the correct term?? I forgot.*

3 of your favourite shows
1. Interesting Japanese dramas
2. Japanese food and leisure shows
3. Any shows tat features GUYS/actress tat I like.

3 of your favourite anime
1. Inuyasha
2. Howls moving castle
3. Trinity Blood

3 of ur current favourite songs (songs on repeat)
1. Sotsugyou
2. Come
3. Oosaka Obachan Rock

3 movies you can watch over and over
1. Alien 1,2 3 and Alien resurrection
2. LOTR
3. waterboys

3 movies you would like to watch
1. Movie tat got all the kanjani8 members!!!
2. Maybe if they make a movie out of David Eddings fantasy novel,
I would like to watch them!!
3. Oh and also from Robert Jordan’s fantasy novel!!!

3 things you are wearing right now
1. black shirt
2. long pants.
3. pink towel wrap ard my head

3 things you want in a relationship
1. love
2. trust
3. bersatu hati. What’s tat ah in English??

3 physical things of the opposite gender that attract you
1. Sunny smile
2. eyes
3. Skin colour

3 bad habits
1. Plucking my eye lashes.
2. Don’t talk to me when I’m playing comp games or watching TV, coz I don’t give a damn care abt my surrounding LOL…got it from my father and brother!
3. Stuck in front of my comp LOL.

3 of ur favourite hobbies
1. Spending time with my beloved COMPanion
2. Listen music and sing
3. Bake!!!!

3 things you wanna do badly right now
1. Meet my close friends
2. Wish Tetsu a very happy 37th birthday!!!
3. Sleep

3 careers you are currently considering
1. Patissier
2. Tending my own bakery shop
3. Voice actress

3 kids name you like
1. Muhammad Hasif Dasuki (I thought abt it since 2004)
2. A Japanese name like Ryo..i think tats a cool name haha.
3. A girl name with Hikari in front, replacing the Nur. Like Hikari Adriana.

3 places you wanna go on vacation
1. Japan: Osaka, Tokyo and Hokkaido.
2. France
3. Italy

3 things you wanna do before you die
1. Marry a guy that I love.
2. Open my own bakery
3. Have a cute baby boy name Muhammad Hasif Dasuki.

3 ways that you are stereotypically
1. A NICE person to NEW people…once u know me..i wont u let u run away with ur actions!
2. Talkative?? Friendly??...thats what pple say abt me…but I’m not..i’m very shy actually.
3. A fierce looking person when not smiling.

3 crushes.
1. Tetsuya Ogawa
2. Hasif
3. Yokoyama-kun…can I list somemore??? I want to put Sesshoumaru-sama..i know he's a demon character...so what..!!!!!

3 ppl u wanna tag
1. Mahera *oiii I want u to do dis onE!!*
2. Mardi
3. Fiz

2006-09-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

Inuyasha craze is back...ok tats only for me...after 1L of tears....sam soon...princess hours...ouran high...and now...the dog demon is back~~~Oh yes...and i got the same crush on inuyasha's full fledged demon brother!!!Sesshoumaru-sama....rin made the right choice....but i still want both inuyasha and sesshy to be together....not tat kind of together..its just like normal siblings...but i guess...the tension between them made the inuyasha sesshy bond neee..hahaha...tell me which siblings doesnt fight...ok ok...quarrel...

some said...once rin become adult...sesshou will marry her...and the history repeat again....produce hanyou...oh yes i like the sound of it....some said rin n sesshou is like daughter and father....wateva it is..i'm happy that rin is with sesshou......they look sooo sweet together...however cold sesshou is rin will be the only warmth that can penetrates into his heart...

isnt he sexy...cool??? but tats not the main part....he's sooo strong...he deserve to be call a hero...if i were to be rin...i wont need anyone with that kind of hero beside you...but then again u will always be worried for him...same goes to inuyasha..always make kagome worried..arent the brothers alike....it seems tat character with some mysterious and strong personality atracts me...those type tats always in denial towards their own feelings...calm...only do the talking when necessary....it just make the person more interesting..eventhough they tend to be pain in the butt sometimes...very hard to break the shell...heart like stone...always closing the door...tats what sesshou is like....

ok ok i know..its just an animation...i shldnt be carried away to far..but isnt true tat whatever the reality world doesnt have..u can make it happen in the imagination world....it's where u can find/make perfect girls....guys...heroes......and the storyline just keep melting u on and on...man...if sesshou is real.....i wont think twice man...i will seek him..who cares even if he's a demon....but den again...the demon sesshou will be different here coz i aint living in an animation world.

Actually i just finished inuyasha ep 124...it was damn sad...my heart felt the pain.....plus the song that they played made it worst....bloody....eventhough it was just an anime and i dont quite like the character...but i was totally immersed in it..... the song played was sotsugyou by tackey and tsubasa...

i was wondering what does the song got to do with that part...well the title means graduation/completion...then i found the pv at utube...complete with lyrics translation...*sob sob* the lyrics was really heartbreaking man.....it really fit into tat part....

Sotsugyou ~Sayonara wa ashita no tame ni~

Moshimo hitotsu dake Tatta hitotsu

DakeKanaerareru nara Nani o inoru kana

If you could be granted 1 wish , just 1 wish

I wonder what would you wish for

Ima doko ni iru no?

Ima dare to iru no?

Aoi sora miyage…Sotto toikakaeru.

where are you now?

who are you with now?

looking up to the blue sky

i softly ask this questions

WITH YOU ~ sugu soba ni Ita koro no kimi ga inai

WITH YOU ~ hanaretemo Kawaranai to yakusoku shita noni

you who were right by my side then arent here

though we promised nothing would change, if we part

~owari~

2006-09-20T17:02:00.000+08:00

2006-09-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

Tokiya tagged me….now I got it what the hell dis tag2 thingy is abt…at least she tag me and her blog got explain things…

1.Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.

How are you feeling today?
당신은...나는 바보입니다.(Acoustic ver) - Stay
Uh?? What?? I don’t even knoe the title of dis song….i got it from Princess Hours Korean drama.... it’s a love song….part of the lyrics is “I’m a fool because I still love u”…hahaha…well…maybe tat makes sense…demo….who is the person??? I cant remember who I love…..

Will you get far in life?
No Border - Remioromen
Fuh yoh….no border?? No limits??...never stop…I will keep on going no matter wat…hohoho

How do your friends see you?
大切なもの – Road of major (Something precious)
ARGH!!!! One of my fav songs!!!....uh me?? Precious??? Am i??? hahahah

Will you get married?
Sukiyanen Osaka – Kanjani8
Ettoo….ano……is tat a good sign??? Kyaaaa~ SUKIYANEN!!!!!!

What is your life’s theme song?
Kokoro e – Road of major (Picture of my soul)
Oh…well….clarity and honesty of urself …..if what I am today can be fit into a picture….tats good easier to understand and intepret….but I guess can’t…never….humans are just too complicated…hahah…..

What is the story of your life?
Osaka Rainy Blues – Kanjani8
EHHHHHHH??!?!?!? Pple always associate rain as sadness n loneliness rite??? Hmm..maybe my life is abt sadness and loneliness…but….this song is oso abt love??? Uh maybe it also means always dreaming abt love..ahahah

What was high school like?
君がため – Road of major (for the sake of u)
no comment…

How can you get ahead in life?
Misetekure – Kanjani8 (please show it)
Uh???? Does it mean I’ll get ahead of life…with the guidance from a wise person?? Or God???

What is tomorrow going to be like?
Shissou – Last Alliance (Dash)
HAHAH…fast moving world….

What is the best thing about your friends?
Fly again hero – Last Alliance
They are my HEROES…..it may not be directly…but they are still my heroes….always supports me….FLY AGAIN HAZZY!!!

What is in store for the next weekend?
雑走 – Road of major (coarse coin???)
*sigh*

What song best describes you?
3gatsu 9ka - remioromen
If we go by the song lyrics…maybe it means….I’m a person tat will always wait??? Faithful???

How is your life going?
25 – 175R
25??? Etto…..

What song will play at your funeral?
Heat is on – Kanjani8
MAK!.....lets forget abt the song lyrics….uh…from the title….i interpret as HELL IS ON….mati….

How does the world see you?
Boku wa nanda -Oen Shitaku Nattanoda – 175R
Anyone…pls……its tiring man like dis…everytime searching the net wat it means…hahaha

Will you have a happy life?
Funky Town Osaka – Kanjani8
looks positive…

What do your friends really think of you?
Osaka Romanesque – Kanjani8
romance or fable; fanciful.LOL

What song describes the person you’re attracted to?
Rain drop tear drop – Love revolution OST
Again?? Haiz…always love love song…

What message would you like to tell the next generation?
melon- pan -175R
Eat more fruits??? Pan??? Wth..

Do you have a deep dark secret?
永遠と一瞬 – remioromen (eternity and moments)
*hopeless sigh*

10 persons to be tagged:
Tak wajib jadik takyah stress…..
1.Hantu
2.Rui
3.Smudge
4.Azfar
5.Saisai
6.*stares*
7.*sigh*
8.*grins*
9.Shaz
10.mana2 hantu yg takde kerja lain…sajer nak buang masa…

2006-09-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

$_$.....just received my LBKM bursary.....hahah met hafizul.....

i just bought 1kg miso.....bonito flakes....kelps....mushrooms.....for sahur~~~weeeeee

My exams result:

OBC B+
PIPC C
HAP A
SFP B+
CSAS C+
Mst1 C
APEL 1 pass

GPA : 3.02

such an eyesore huh?? c here c there.....but thank God no supp ppr hehehe

i wanna be a patissier...call me...Patissier Hazzy~~~ weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-09-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

mak...u knoe wat....everytime, i got lots of things to put in my blog...too much till i donno where to start...and sometimes wen i start typing....i forgot what i wanna say....den lose interest......sometimes i switch on the comp...den got distracted with games haahahh.....so tadaaaa long time never update...

i'm waiting for my pathetic exam results...i hope i dont fail for any pprs...i dont wanna take supp ppr!!!.....yeah soon i can start on my CDS....and wanna join 2 more CCA...malay art grp n choir....and yup gonna live with my sis at tamp~....save time.....but weekends i go my parents hse~~~

recently just got my mendaki award....its becoz of dis award and my fren smudge tat inspires me to do well in poly....hahah i give it a try and give it my best....i wanna do smthg that i like...smthg i'm passionate abt nee...ahhh i remember what the Goh CHok Tong youth promise award receiver sed neee..."everything will be fine in the end. if its not fine, then its not the end" wahlao....i was stunned wen i heard those words....hahah...these kind of pple ah...really deserve dis kind of award...they really work hard for it despite of difficulties and most imptly...they aim to help others with what they have achieved...now this reminds me of aya-chan nee.....even now while resting in peace...she still help pple with her positive words...yah talking abt her...God...i think if i were to watch dis movie b4 i make my poly course choice.....i may end up with some bio course seh...surely my ambition is to become doc....but like what mizuno sensei sed....all doc sed "dont worry we will help....we'll find the cure....but in the end its just lies". well tats for the spinocerebellum degeneration case ah...no cure no treatment. whateva it is....just dont give up....but thats just a thought neeeeeee....

blergh dahlah tu jek.....all other crappy things i decide not to put here....hmmm better not.

~zutto ikite~

2006-08-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

Nee do u knoe wat is ur strength? Like some pple...they're good in sports...arts...entertainment...language....science..maths...looks..etc. I donno mine. I never knoe mine. I only assume whats mine. But in actual i guess they're not really my strength. Its very depressing when i think abt this. In fact when i asked my mom, she also donno, she said i never show what i'm good at. That dampened my spirits even more. When i see my friends achieve this and that award...being recognized by lots of pple of his/her own strength...i felt scared. I'm worried and i really envy them. I donno what to do.

I really think i should change who i am. How? only God knoes how and when.I hate my last minute work habits. I hate my loud voice and laughs. I hate my time management. I hate my tongue coz i cant speak well including malay. I hate the way my mind think, it seems tat i cant think simple...always think the complicated way. I hate my weak personality. I hate my body, because i cant do everytihng i yearn to do. It's not the kind of hate that i will just forget abt it if i dont like it,i want something to be done to it coz i still love who i am...i want change for the better me~ So far i've found my so called fav sports that I'm able to play, basketball.

Yet, being alive is still lovely and wonderful.It is true i'm considered lucky. I'm not born in those war countries. I dont have incurable disease and have a complete family that can still support me. But, i still think theres always some space to be improve.

His world

He’s eager for his new life
He wants his freedom
He yearns to see the world
It's time to set him free
It's what he wants

In his world,
He wants to be known
He loves attentions
Attentions by those that caught his attention
It's just the way his life is.

Diving into the world of freedom
May be a reality or just a fantasy

He runs very fast, chasing time

He felt a burst of energy
Thanks to adrenalin

His legs work the best for him

it’s the kind of feeling he wants to have, in his world

He may be welcome by the world
He dream to shine like the stars
But when he’s not
The pain is clearly written on his face
Whether he's prepared or not
It’s never known to me.

It feels like he's known to me
But he doesn’t know me
And I never know him
Only God knows who he is to me

~owari~

2006-08-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

The only malay celeb that i like.LMAO

Less burden for my head.

Dont gimme that "INEEDLOVE" look. You've had enough from me.

Whats with tat look hah?

$19-90 - Just for a file.

At last.

$19.90 - All in chinese. I bullied my chinese fren.

haiz..at last...

2006-08-09T21:01:00.000+08:00

= =...this is my 3rd time trying to post new updates....sometimes...blogspot really make me go MAD.

Just now went to play basketball with my frens...GWAHWHAWHA....this is my FIRST TIME...cant even call me a beginner siahz...its my 1st time step in bb court n play the game haha~ At 1st we tot of playing at TP's sporthall...but...the guards said cannot play on pubhols....GOD....but its ok...we managed to find a nearby basketball court~...we ended up joining dis chinese boy that doesnt look like a chinese AT ALL. It was DAMN FUN...but...i got dark leh...i cant wait to play bb with tako and Fab4s~

Why?? Why the sudden interest in basketball? hahaha....i like it long time ago...i find it very cool....but i nvr tot of playing it.I find it more interesting than soccer donoo why hahaha....at least its something new to me...yalah...if i like soccer pple will think diff of me kan....say i like soccer becoz of dis malay guy bla bla...ANYWAY....it was a clip on kanjani8 play basketball...and yokoyama...he looked SO COOL man playing it....he ran from 1 end to another...n den jump very high n SCORE...n den recently i found out that HE LIKES BASKETBALL!!! UWAHHHHHH....its FUN....geez...

Oh well..it was national day..but today felt like saturday hahahah....too bad seh..cannot go kallang stad to watch NDP...wat siahz...i nvr go there to watch..not even once!!....n wat...this year is the last year....i'm a hopeless singaporean....ahahaha

UWAH...examssss starting soon!!! WAHLAO..n i havent touch my notes...coz i donteven feel touching them..hahaha...not yet....soon..soon...anyway i just cant believe my frens at TP..really planned to go picnic at Sentosa....UWAH....it will be fun i guess....but i oso want to spend time with BENTOS...and FAB4s....neee neee...we shld sleepover again nee??? i want to cook for u all again!!! we do grilling n steam boat again ah!!Maybe buka puasa and solat terawih together!! pleaseee...i miss u all eventhough i just met u guys last Saturday....

On tuesday...we got 4 hrs break....we shld be revising our notes..instead WE GO SHOPPING!! haahah...yah i bought a spec for my lab..i dont want goggles and that basketball....n its our 1st time oso take neoprint together hahhaha....but not complete...only 3malays n 1 indian. DAMN...scanner rosak...once i got it scanned ...i'll show ya which one is indian hahaha~

And yesterday..i CUT MY HAIR!!!! HAHAHA...real SHORT.

Oh...i'll be spending my 2nd sem at TAMP...yeah i live with ma sis..but i'll be at teck whye during weekends ah....geez...wonder how i do all the hse chores...who to cook for me...and i JUST HATE MY SIS's SETERIKA...bloody heavy and the iron board is damn weak to support the iron's heavy weight...the board really bent seh...

Oh anyway..i think i screwed up the firework's clip ah...i screamed too much....i was too overwhelmed by its beauty...n its my 1st time....i didnt know tat it sounded NOISY...UNPLEASANT...DISTURBING and damn UGLY for a gerl. God...i shldnt do tat again...i must control my voice...to my frens especially mardi and hantu..gomenneee....i'm totally embarassed by my own actions....

~OWARI~

$37.80 for a book...i'm happy despite of numerous badlucks i got today..why?

2006-07-13T20:22:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life...i have the desire to buy a book...a HEALTH BOOK...oh well...i didnt know it's a health book until i was told that i can find dis book at the HEALTH section at kino. The title is Japanese Women Don't Get Old or Fat by Naomi Moriyama....thanks to my poly course...i've started to plan for a NEW LIFE. When i'm able to put action to it??...only God knoes...

It all started wen my CSAS teacher asked us to do research presentation...the 1st topic that i tot of is, Which is better..RAW meat or COoked meat?...but it turned out that the ans is OBVIOUSLY THERE...COOKED MEAT LAH. Oh wanna knoe why?? ok ok...for those who wanna knoe...its becoz...cooked meat makes the meat last longer...becoz the heat inhibits the bacteria production...cooked meat also taste better coz of the chemical reaction in meat makes the taste different n sweeter and delicious...its more tender and duh...it doesnt leave any BLOODY taste in ur mouth hahaah...ok last part....i made it up...it doesnt appear in my sfp exam...hahaha....

Den i pondered abt japanese pple....why i find japanese pple so beautiful....maybe its just my preference...my taste.. but then again dont u agree that they basically look PLEASANT....i always adore their body size...they look very petite wherelse i'm big n fat....FAT....come to think of it....SO FAR...ITS VERY DIFFICULT TO SEE A JAPANESE WITH WEIGHT PROB...yes....of course there is such thing as bulging tummy...flabby arms..n so on....but what i mean here is OBESITY. Dont u think so?? If i walk at geylang or little india....there are lots of pple that have BIG SIZE body...i knoe i nvr walk at tokyo streets...but i'm sure i've seen lots of japanese pple in my 18 years of life....i'm not refering to those j-artist...but at channel newsasia n those that i met in spore...So i typed in "japanese people fat?" at google just making sure of what i believe...see whether i'm BLINDED with the love for japan or is it a fact.

And the results shows that it is a fact...the percentage of obesity among japanese pple is damn little. WHY? come on...japanese are food loving people....Tokyo itself is like a FOOD HEAVEN....but why obesity is like nthg in japan??....research pny research...its becoz of their diet...most of the results talked abt dis 1 book by naomi moriyama...since i'm interested to knoe and useful for my proj....i bought it...theres 2 books at N.Lib but it cant be borrowed yet...still new..

I knoe some will disagree with what i sed....some say pple that are "big size" or shld i say OBESE is becoz of genes...if we see our family members are those big size pple...so get ready to easily gain weight...but i still believe...what we eat DO AFFECT our genes..eventually change our metabolism rate..and if we dont change what we eat...our genes will remain da same....WE ARE WHAT WE EAT...so this is what the neurons in my brain had discussed n i've chosen a topic: JAPANESE DIET. A WAY TO SLIM DOWN AND STAY HEALTHY.

To those slim ones...remember u may be slim...but think again...are u healthy?

i havent finish reading the book...so i wont talk more abt it.

After reading 21 pages of that book....and did some research abt the science behind japanese main ingredients...i was really awed by what i found out...in fact i even think...why am i not born japanese?....but...i think again...maybe if i'm born as japanese...i'll be ignorant......i cant appreciate what i am and i may be abusing myself....it still doesnt do any good...just that i'm slim n healthy....so what i had thought is...i am what i am...and that fact can nvr change. But its not bad to change to smthg better. I tot of trying the japanese diet...but it is expensive to have that kind of eating style...u knoe how japanese things cost in spore. undeniable expensive. and i cant afford coz i'm not working. and i cant persuade my mom to change her cooking style to some japanese mom style. I'm sure my parents cant eat japanese food...tau jeklah..tekak org2 lama.

So this is what i meant by planning for a NEW LIFE. It has 2 meanings. 1 i want to feel all the feelings that the 21 pages have describe...feeling healthy...energetic...losing weight...slimmer..looking and feeling younger than what u are..savouring food at a different way with a different taste. Another 1 is when i become a housewife and have a NEW LIFE being born. Yes i knoe recently i did sed i dont want to get married but i really feel the need to give love to someone and that is for my husband n children...whoever they are.I can also take it as a long term experiment...i wanna see how my children grow up with japanese diet...even if it fails...it wont do any harm to dem... I want to cook their meal everyday...i want to give dem the best, healthy and freshess food and make dem with love...in fact i really tot of following the japanese diet wen i'm married...and with creativity the type of dishes i can choose is widened since i'm a malay n sporean...its just like cut and paste ...hopefully my future husband like it hahah. But b4 that..i need the energy from a healthy body....start wen?? once i start werk. insyallah. so far that the only logical solution i can think of.

I love with what i'm studying now and i found out a very useful knowledge smthg new and different...i always hear excercise and eat balanced meal in order to slim down...its boring to me..hahaha and i see a new pathway open for me thats why i'm happy despite of my bad day today. Uzor bocor dlm bas...bdk laki dari TP nmpk...kena langgar basikal n bdk tuu salahkan aku n tak ckp sorry eventhough die yg langgar aku...bodoh pny bdk...pintu lift terttp kena aku ....contact kwn ajak pegi orchard tapi tak dpt2....at last pegi orchard sorang.

~owari~

Darn it.

2006-06-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

i dont want it anymore.....this is the 1st time and it will be the last time...i want to runaway...i feel suffocated...i feel i'm tied....i'm bounded to smthg.....laugh at me...u may think its a joke..but i'm the one feeling it....its a honto feeling...she said it's nothing...the other said dont be scared its normal life...i said..I'm not ready and i'm scared....if i were given a choice i will choose to be single.....

Last time i knoe how to love people...and now i just learnt how to RUN away from people....whether he likes me or not....save your breath...i dont want to knoe...stop...no thanks....now i knoe the feeling of "NEED to runaway" from someone that likes you...u'll feel suffocated and very weak...especially its ur 1st time and u dont have the heart to simply just say NO. Worst....DONT TALK TO ME ABT MARRIAGE...I'M STILL A CHILD.

There lots of reason why i feel suffocated.....1st..i dont feel any spark or chemistry between him and me...yes no feelings at all..2nd i'm not myself when i'm with him....3rd i'm not ready for all this kind of things...4th i need someone fun that i can laugh with and play with...5th i have my own dream guy...so that makes everything more difficult i guess...6th i need a guy that makes me calm and comfortable when i'm with him.

So conclusion....i would love to stay single...until the one that i really feel suitable for me is there and i'm ready....i hope when that day come its a mutual feelings....

I wish someday i found someone like how this song describes....

It's hard to believe

That I couldn't see

You were always there beside me

Thought I was alone

With no one to hold

But you were always right beside me

And this feelings like no other

I want you to know

I've never had someone that knows me like you do

the way you do

I've never had someone as good for me as you

no one like you so lonely before I finally found

what i've been looking for

So good to be seen

So good to be heard

Don't have to say a word

For so long I was lost

So good to be found

I'm loving having you around

This feeling's like no other

I want you to know

I've never had someone that knows me like you do

The way you do

I've never had someone as good for me as you

No one like you

So lonely before, I finally found

what I've been looking for

I felt so foreign...

2006-06-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

Things i want to say abt my experience visiting Japanese Association of Singapore:-

Uh went there to practice bon dance....for natsu fest performance...

Jap aunties n grandmas are soo cool and supporting!! wohooooo

I felt so foreign wen i mix with dem

My jap vocab suddenly gone missing everytime they speak to me in jap lang.

My eyes go *sparkle sparkle* wen i saw the babies.....either a beautiful one or damn kawaii those chubby cheeks just make u want to kiss n pinch.....i want that kinf of baby!!........they really look innocent and pure....

I want to play with this 1 baby gerl....but i donno the japanese ver. of baby lang.....but she played wink2 with me..hahahaha so cute..n she never cry one...hahaha..too bad i didnt take pic with her..WHY DIDNT I TOT OF TAT!!

~owari~

Since i'm 14 years old till now 18 years old..and it's still you....

2006-06-14T02:59:00.000+08:00

But he's cuter...hehe....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frOKYdo5BuM

just wanna share with u all dis vid..its Winter Fall by LArc-en-Ciel...its an old song...but its soo nostalgic..and dis song always makes me feel in love....i donno why...its really nice...

Zac Efron

2006-06-14T02:54:00.000+08:00

Isnt he cute? Ahha...he is cute..

Life is like a wheel...mine is either goin down or stop there...

2006-06-14T02:27:00.000+08:00

Okieee....i'm updating lah techno gerl...soo ma fan...ahaha

So what have i been doing since my last entry? Hm....Last week test...dis week holidays n that means no scH!! but i still need to do my community service dis friday...gahz....nvm just get on with it COMPULSORY nee..dont come ZERO for my APEL wallao...PLUS...i have OBC notes to read up...sch reopen got quiz..kk typical polylife i guess?

And at last, on 23rd June got to choose my CDS!!! its online and 1st come 1st serve...so must do like wat Ms Ong sed....wake up 9.30am...sit in front comp and at 10am submit all my 5 choices!!!...i donno yet what are my 5 choices..but 1st one i want JAP LANG!

Somehow i feel...the older i get the more childish i am..hahaha deprive childhood...WHY i sed so? coz...last week my sis...yes my MARRIED sis bought a BARBIE DOLL..not for me..but she let me play with it...SO EXCITING!! Hey..cannot blame me ah...when i'm young i didnt get a barbie doll...my parents dont buy for me..they only buy for my sis..i want it too...and i wish to have a control car!! i want 1!!!....and other then that i want to make my own play dough!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME...O_O

Not only that!!....i'm stuck with cartoon network and disney channel...i WATCH Courage the Cowardly Dog...*STUPID DOG WKAKWAKWAKWAK* , Spongbob Squarepants....and Fosters home for Imaginary frens in the MORNING....and i'm starting to like Lizzie Mc Guire and Thats so Raven...gosh...sooo not me.

Went to watch my 2 frens debate n both of them won the title BEST DEBATOR! wohoo soo good....they are sooo maju yet i'm stuck with science subjs in TP ...geez i really miss dem....ahha...n i'm goin to stuff my memory with thier faces this hols!

!the end!

"Can you believe that i'm still in love with u? After all these years..it's still you"

2006-05-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

I slept for 5 hours yet i'm stil lsleepy....i feel sooo tired at the end of the day....which is UNUSUAL....maybe its becoz of the sudden "panic and stress" attack yesterday. I feel so tense and grumpy and that continued till today.....mala noticed that i'm in a BAD MOOD but once i reached home i went straight to my bed...weeee....so now i'm in a better mood..

Why is it that some pplein this world will concentrate on asking 1 person only?? Other than that,for every test they want to check ans.....its very irritating if they check their ans with mine for ALL QS and ask me HOW TO DO QS for every tutorials and practicals. Too much of it really irritates me. Why cant pple be moderate. Whether i know the ans or not it still irritates me if its TOO MUCH. Its really irritating n testing my patience when they impose the qs to me until i cant DO MY WORK. My neck really hurts....turn here and there. Geez.

Oh and once i start to become CONFUSED,that adds more to my grumpiness.

And why is it that some pple love to attract TOO MUCH ATTENTION but at a very WRONG TIME till it become very much like a NUISANCE. And too MUCH JOKES and draggin it also IRRITATING.

I really dont understand this pple. Its gd to ans or respond to the tutor...but if the tutor ask a specific student let the student ans lah.When its study and serious time be seriouslah...dont be extra studious just BY READING THE EXACT SENTENCE FROM NOTES BUT U DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THING U READING ABT...eveyone can do that. Then if the teacher is nice pls lah dont make him mad or test his level of patience by talking and laughing loudly like a mad person as if the teacher is not in front. I tot that is VERY BASIC MANNERS. Again moderation. Other pple also want to study.Dont let the teacher scold u in front of other classes like a primary sch student and then u become quiet.

Oh and i think this is my 1st timemeeting a person who says a think w/o thinking at all. The mouth just let out random words.

Just now in SFP tutorial....that stern teacher got angry again luckily its not with me/my grp. But i'm still afraid.

TOday is the day that really tested my patience for dis 4 weeks of sch.

My HAP lab technician is sooo cute.....i likeeee....Both my HAP tutor and HAP Practical Tutor is nice~ yeah~

~owari~

~Polylife~

2006-05-14T00:50:00.000+08:00

Coming to the 4th week....Everyday wake up 6am..get ready for sch....1 1/2hr bus journey....8.45am reach sch....9am start lesson....go back either 5pm or 6pm. Darn.

Somehow i dont feel like i'm in the poly life that i've been imagining all this years....i totally feel like i'm in JC or normal secondary sch...maybe becoz of the course that i chose...a science course.
I have 4 science subjs: Biology. Organic Chem. Inorganic Chem. Sci in food Preparation.
Oh..and Maths and Stat (arghh got A maths)
Core Subjs: Commnication skills (acts like english subj) and Apel (smthg for effective living ah)

Seriously...i think i can cope with 7 subjects and i dont feel that tired at the end of each day becoz its like...everyday we only need to study ard 4-5 subjects. BUT...since its very far from my hse...the journey makes me feel exhausted. Imagine everyday i spent 12hrs ++ just for my sch.

When comes to study....i think i really have prob with Maths becoz of the A maths and CSAS...the communication skill subj....becoz the ENGLISH and i need to know abt national education lah spore social issue lah. Sigh.

Another difficulty is that everything is so fast in poly. Yes i cant deny that. Everything is new, the way the teach us and the way we study. So when new + fast = panic! Other than that, we have to be active like hell...must always volunteer to give solution or ans...if not got no classmarks. Must be RESPONSIBLE. INDEPENDANT. ON TIME. QUICK. HAIZ. I'm stress. Yah and daniel knows that. haha.

I'm a class treasurer and ++. Well thats the dangerous part have ++. haha. It means my job does not stop at collecting money only...my other job is Asst of Asst of class monitor. If Dan or Kit is late or have smthg else..its MY JOB to do whatever thing is needed. Actually, i didnt want to hold any post, i dont want more responsibilities...i want to relax lil bit from my secondary sch but Sutha my indian friend VOLUNTARILY VOLUNTEERED me to become the class treasurer and then ms mah (care person) gave me the *come on haz u can do it its an easy job* kind of look to me. Ok i accepted it. So there i go....running here n there collecting money...panic here and there hahaha.

Aniwae rite..one of my classmate, mala....said that i have the "i know everything but i wont show it" kind of look and "intellingent" kind of aura...is it tru??? anyone..plsss comment...

In malay its like seperti harimau menyembunyikan kukunya.

Classmates. HAHA. Very interesting people. Most of them are very nice and likeable but some are weird and i cant understand. I really hope i dont need to knoe them better or closer. Just as classmate enough, u cooperate with me and do ur work is fine with me oready. Most of my classmates are 89 babies. So wat? nthg just that its my 1st time studying with 89 babies. *thinking abt former secondary sch's 89 babies*

Teachers? Lecturers? Tutors? Hmm...oklah...i think the best is my biology lecturer...he's frenly and nice not like my SFP (sci in food prep) tutor....a pretty lady but STERN...well nvr judge a book by its cover. Oh yah...1 more tutor....he teach OBC - organic chem practical....geez....he's 1 very sarcastic teacher BUT...I HAVE TO ADMIT IT THAT HE'S VERY GOOD AT TEACHING. Most of them are very good at teaching its like whatever they say...explain...elaborate...its all concise and easy to absorb. It really awe me. Thats their good points, i salute them for that.

I joined the Japanese Club. No activities yet. 17 may mass meeting.

I want to join TPSU...but it seems like i dont have time for that...nvm....c how 1st....

Overall? OKIE. I like it and i can cope it for my 1st sem. Coming soon is my 2 weeks of test and den 5th june starting of EXAMS. Goodluck to me. hahah.

Extra.....

Lately i've been seeing and hearing lots of pple talking abt GAYs. I even met some WEIRD pple. WHY?!?! i really cant stand it. what to do... i'm straight. eventhough i said i can accept Tetsu x hyde yaoi fiction...but its FICTION and its just WORDS and if its a joke i can laugh at it but if they were to show their REAL gayness in front of my eyes...i'll scream and puke. YES EVEN IF ITS HYDE and TETSU. forget it ok...they're straight....its just a fanfiction.

Truthfully i said....i like pretty boys...i dont mind androgynous...or guys with perfect skin...or perfect eyebrow..or guys wearing pink clothes...or guys that love shoppin..whatever lah...they are just GUYS and still GUYS...most of japanese guys are. can see the difference what. Guys' beauty and gerl's beauty are different. But i personally cant accept those really want to make their voice like gerls or actions become soft watsoeva. Worst are the ones that start to eyeing the same gender.Whatever it is... DONT EVER FORCE ME TO SAY ITS OK OR LIKEABLE OR SWEET OR NICE OR CUTE WATEVA. i just find it not. I wont insult or make u embarrassed in front of any crowd,just leave me alone with my thoughts.....i wont disturb u n u dont disturb me.Just nvr provoke me.

~owari~

2006-03-29T15:28:00.000+08:00

Vampire Hunter D.

2006-03-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

★Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson★

Yesterday I intended to watch Marilyn Manson's Sweet Dream clip at Youtube..so after some reaserch abt him.....i decided not to coz he looks so freaky and scary to me....oh well guess what he's born on 5 Jan in da year 1969!! GEEZ SAME LIKE TET-CHAN......i prefer tetsu 69,000 times more........but i still like Sweet Dream..blame hyde...no...i mean blame Larc......they perform this song before...cant remember what year though...ok anyway....i found something else...it looks interesting to me...i found a short clip of Vampire Hunter D with the Sweet Dream song in it......my 1st impression of D was...HE WAS SO COOL and BEAUTIFUL just by 1 look i knew he's a mysterious guy where he wont talk much except when he thinks he needs to. I donno why..i just have this fetish of mysterious, quiet, beautiful and cool guy with deep voice and penetrating eyes......somehow these kind of male characters make me feel secure and safe neee....

So i searched for the anime series...none..but i found the movie...Vampire Hunter D - Bloodlust.....basically D is a vamp hunter, a half human and half vamp - Dhampire. He leads a nomadic life with most of vampires strength in him, includes eternal life. The humans hate him coz he is half vamp and vampires hate him coz he kills vampires, i feel so sad coz he's so lonely...he wasnt given a chance to lead a normal life...*sob sob*.He has heat syndrome....too much heat can either kill him or turn him into full vamp *still unsure neee*. He has a parasitic demon living in him due to a curse and it usually appears on his palm like a person's face...it can talk and think by itself...its a gd demon...just like myoga jiji from Inuyasha... its life depends on D's strength.

In Bloodlust...its about a human lady, Charlotte kidnapped by a vampire name Meier Link...so the Elbourne family paid good vamp hunters to get her back, either save her or kill her if she's been devoured by the vamp. So D's one of the hunter and he's in competetion with another group of vamp hunters called The Marcus. Together they compete for the hell that awaits them.

~owari~

2006-03-23T19:29:00.000+08:00

Just now went to my sec sch to take my testimonial and cert....gosh...i cant believe that my form teacher did state in my testi that i'm COURAGEOUS and ADVENTUROUS!!! geez...what was he thinking....+ I'm ACTIVE IN OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES....wow~

Other than that...I got 3rd place in Best Kept Aquarium.....*scratches head* EH ANOO I TOT THAT WAS A CLASS COMPETITION...since when i become the aquarium rep?!?!

Let's sing dis together.....(Play the Viddy-O)

Very special na sutori

Everybody is the sunshine
Daremo ga minna furawa (flower)
Everybody need my sunlight
kaze no naka ni x2
Yeah.....

~owari~

My EQ is very high.

2006-03-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

Type : ENFJ - Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
Strength of preference:
E - 11
N - 75
F - 50
J - 33

You are:
slightly expressed extrovert
distinctively expressed intuitive personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

Que Haidar.

2006-03-23T00:03:00.000+08:00

See dis guy? well he reminds me of someone i knoe....his name is Que Haidar...but his real name is Tengku Iskhan Shah Tengku Haidar. Yes...he's kerabat diraja Kedah Malaysia...geez....
He's an actor...i like wen he looks like a normal secondary sch student...but i cant find better pics nee.....in dis pic i personally feel that he looks like he's been electrocuted....sorry..but it is...

I'm B+, What do u think?

2006-03-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

Type B - Temperamental, Emotional
B people feel very strongly over a lot of things, though they may not always be able to explain why. They are easy to hype, to shake off balance, to coerce into losing confidence in themselves. They may seem to be an emotionally unstable bunch, but they are actually only the most self-conscious and sensitive. The most successful B people convert their tumultous feelings into energy that fuels their drive to excel. B artists are outstanding, once they are able to collect and focus their talent.

B people are ardent lovers. Once they have chosen an object of affection, they regard this person as if he/she were the pillar supporting their very existence. In love they demand much, and are extremely self-critical of their own attitudes, so that a lot of B people appear "torpe" (local word for "weak-hearted when it comes to confessing one's true feelings to the source of one's distress"). They prefer to express their frustration indirectly, as in burying their heads in their work or their arts.

the ones in maroon colour means..."it's sooo true"

Naruto Cosplay At Snow City

2006-03-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

Rui x Smudge

Naruto Cosplayers

Kakashi - Wenjie

Hazzy and Naruto Cosplayers

Smudge and her Sayang (tako)

MAMMOGRAM for ME~

2006-03-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

Mendengar: Joint - Rip Slyme

MY GOD....mammogram....i had my med check up on monday at wdlds...everything was ok....except for da check on lumps at breast...i didnt expect for it seh...suddenly ok "lift up yr blouse and unhook your bra and lie down" O_O.....faiza said her doc did not check for lumps...but how come i got it....GEEZ...

Oh and yeah abt the naruto cosplay held on last sunday at Snow City...wow...i really enjoyed it....ah lucky me got to have fun and experience with the extreme coldness -5 deg. cel. and snow for 4hrs just for $12 TATS BLOODY CHEAP! *thinking abt japan* I LOVE DA SNOW SLIDE!!! weeeee...the 1st time i slide...da bouy slipped away from my butt..ahakz...so the other half slide was on my butt hahaha...ouch...man...luckily no bruises..coz the snow hill got bumps neee. And i was da only gal there who SCREAM with all my heart...well yeah scream out of happiness, excitement and joy~ hehe....i even scream out tetsu name....hahaha

When i came inside the snowy place..it was cold..but still bearable...its like i went inside a fridge.. it was gr8....but when i climbed the snow hill to play the slide....geez thats when i can really feel the temperature falling down....suddenly...it was hard to breathe...my lips n nose was numb...my hearing was not clear....my whole body was shivering.....my body joint was hard to move....my god...but i admit is was FUN for a 1st timer neee....my next time to experience snow is REAL SNOW not some manmade snow hehe....

I still wonder how the cosplayers feel abt the coldness....haha coz their costume wasnt that thick enough....Smudge and Rui were still gr8...they are the ones tat cosplayed....me n tako just sebok2 to play snow and give support!!! Arigatou neee Rui and Smudge~

~owari~

Megumi Oishii

2006-03-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

Ini ialah isteri Hyde yg bernama Megumi Oishii.
MAK KO LAWANYEE MCM DOLL....aku sorang jek ker yg ckp die lawa......arghhhhh

oi oi! i'm back!

2006-03-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: nervous.....*sweaty hands*
Mendengar: What is Love - L'Arc~en~Ciel

At last...i got my compie back!! *hugs compiee*

Ahhhh DEPRIVE OF LARC!!! especially TETSHU!!! XD

Gosh i missed lots of things.....well cant change the fact that....internet is my key to the outside world~

And w/o compie n netty i felt so boring, i felt that the time ticking away was very slow.....i keep watching the tv eventhough there's nthg interesting to watch.....i keep changing the channels every secs....as though the remote control is da keyboard~ hahahaha oh yeah i even catch those late rerun programmes that nvr crosses my mind before...like FRIENDS...cold case.....FRASIER and Impact TV. WTH. I switch the tv off at 3am n den read my story book for 1hr n den go to sleep and wake up 12pm~ To make my days worst....i keep checking my kitchen for food....but theres NOTHING arghh....i knoe...its empty but i keep checking all da kitchen cabinets everytime i feel tired from staring the tv screen or reading book ahahahah...

Well i'm talking as if its been months since i'm last online...no its not months...just 6 days w/o compie. Now thats bad.

Riship mai enrolmen pekeage!!!

Arghhh forms here n there.....pink blue yellow green white and orange!!

Fotostat this and that

Mail this and that

Go here and there.

Fuh that really need alot of WORK.

I'm sooo happy and excited for my new school!!~ but i'm also feeling nervouss, WHY AH???

ah maybe its becoz of my woorie-woorie sickness...

Woorie about willibeabletocommunicatewithmynewfrensespeciallythosenonmalay~

oH and TP is at TAMPINES and i stay at TECK WHYE...so its WOW FAR!! wow gonna get a swollen butt everytime i go sch~ XDDD

~OWARI~

2006-02-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: Donno
Mendengar: Donno

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Like you, kittens hate getting wet. Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. These adorable animals are the most popular pets in the United States--37% of American households have at least one cat. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Lamb
You are least like a: Groundhog or a Chipmunk What Cute Animal Are You?

Menggilap bahasa ibunda ku...tapi tak baku ah..haha

2006-02-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: HAppy~
Mendengar: One Day One Dream - Tackey and Tsubasa

Ari ni bual dlm b.melayu ah....

Haiz..penatnye..baru pulang dari sekolah and membeli-belah di Lot 1 bersama Tan. Aku gembira setelah dapat membeli barang-barang yang ku inginkan dan perlukan....

Kalo ckp psl kat sch tadi...sbnrnya takdelah penat sgt buat kerja die..cuma setakat warna-warnakan poster2 dan gambar2.....mendak jugak buat kerja2 tu lagi-lagi kalo barang die ketoprak, magic pen dah takde ink...yg mane tip die dah mcm kena gigit tikus pon ada...ada paint tapi takde brush...pandai..mmg pandai2 belaka....pulak tuu nak cepat2...apasallah buat kerja last minit......padahal buat poster untuk open hse...nak attract da parents....n den kerja kurang senonoh...haiz..apahal lah sekolah aku ni..tak ubah2...

Tadi cikgu zul ada cakap....yg die tak sangka kelas men.5 tahun lepas dapat keputusan O lvl begini bagus....die betol2 tak sangka yg kami ni smua berkebolehan..maklumlah..kami ni smua dilabelkan sebagai murid2 yg boleh kedepan dan petah berckp....tapi biler berdepan dgn kertas dan suroh tulis sebuah karangan...hah menggelabah smua....nmpknya alhamdulillah....kami ni boleh berbual...tulis dan KREATIF...yerlah...nak katakan most of da project yg telah dijalankan smuanya ada cap tangan kami......bukanlah ckp besar tapi fikirkanlah masa depan sekolah...jgn too depend on us....gilap jugaklah kreativiti murid junior yang lain....dahulu pun ketika kami ambil peperiksaan STE dan O lvl kami kena buat pelbagai projek...takkan murid2 men.5 tahun ini tidak boleh sikit lebih kurang.....

Haiz yang aku pulak tadi kat sch...adalah berdoa2 takde hasif...tapi timbul juga die didepan pandangan ku...tapi takpe...aku tak menggelabah lagik....erhm....sudahlah...tak baik ungkit perkara yang lepas....maklomlah seperti apa yg mak aku ckp...org dah tak nak kwn..nk buat apa.....selembot hati manusia ia maseh tak boleh ditundukkan walau dgn cara apa pun...

wassalam...

K.A.W.A.I.I

2006-02-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: YOKATTAAAA~
Mendengar: Promised Land 2005 - Punk en Ciel

Arghhhh....i got another nephew....he's the first newborn baby i ever say CUTE....usually newborn babies look so...urgh....like cooked lobster..HAHA....ok wateva...his name is Mohamad Harith Muqri.....the muqri part is lil bit hard to pronouce~

Both Haziq n Harith have the same intials MHM hahaha~

Haziq - 21st Dec 2003

Harith - 23rd Feb 2006

For the sake of updating....

2006-02-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: undefined
Mendengar: Desk Fan's Engine Speed 2 - Hatari

Weeee quited my job.....
Okane decreasing...*sigh*

On 21st Feb went to MOE for Home Econ Teacher interview.....
Ahhh plssss take meeeee....
I like the school principal who interviewed me...she's so friendly and her smiles calms me~

Oh yeah...my first choice of course under JAE is not Apparel Desing and Merchandising..but Applied Food Science.

wassalam

2006-02-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: frustrated.
Mendengar: Season's Call - HYDE

Wee got my O lvl results oready,

English - A1
Malay - A1
IRK - A1
Geography - A2
Comb.Sci. - A2
Arabic - A2
Maths - B3

L1R5 - 11 L1R4 - 8

Wow...i'm shocked coz i can join JC....but that doesnt mean i gonna join 1 or shld i say I'm ALLOWED to join 1...
I hope i can get that Mendaki award....
Under pressure choosing which path i shld take...
Ah and i need to apply for scholarshipwith Mendaki...
So far it looks like poly ah...

Polytechnic Courses:

Not in sequence...
★Apparel Design n Merchandising - TP
★Biotechnology - SP and TP
★Chemical Process Tech - SP
★IT - NYP
★Business Infromatics - NYP and TP
★Leisure and Resort Management - TP
★Food Science - TP and NYP
★Hospitality and Tourism Management - TP

Gonna quit my job soon....maybe dis week or next...
All the best to me and those who read this....

wassalam...

2006-01-21T16:28:00.000+08:00

Cake

hazzy

2006-01-21T16:27:00.000+08:00

My treasure

hazzy

2006-01-21T16:26:00.000+08:00

Rose and Cake.

hazzy

18 Years Old.

2006-01-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

20th of January, I was born in this world. The reason of my existence on this planet is still unknown to me. Only God Knows.

Got migraine and blocked nose. Took leave. And took advantage of da leave. So i took panadols and then went to NYP open hse *O_o soo many TOOK*.I like what i've managed to collect there, giveaways and redemptions.Hantu was da luckiest i guess haha~ But i think we humans are too easy to get sidetracked eg. collecting goodies...coz i was~ LOL.I prefer goin wif small grps of frens than goin with a big one. My 1st intention was to go wif a small grp of frens on friday but most frens that i'm really comfortable with had decided to go on thurs, so i went. I tot 4-5 pple only go but it wasnt. In my opinion thats enough pple to have fun together, easy to control and to communicate and less worry..no need to separate. But since i joined last min, i just follow. Didnt meet Tokiya but did got the chance to see how the IT classes were. Oh i miss her.

Just now went to TP open hse. I like the courses there than NYP's and I love the fashion show.NYP is FULL with GIVEAWAYS and FREEGIFTS but not TP. ~Both sch look welcoming, happening and attractive. So overall i say that i like both schs and both goody bag but in terms of course choices, i choose TP. Courses that i'm interested in:-

★Diploma in Apparel Design & Merchandising - TP
★Diploma in Culinary & Catering Management - TP

★Diploma in Leisure & Resort Management - TP
★Diploma in Hospitality and Tourism Management - TP
★Diploma in Business Information Technology - TP and NYP
★Diploma in Information Technology - NYP
★Diploma in Retail Management - TP
★ Diploma in Food Science - NYP

Malas, so i dont wanna go detail on tat.

After that, went to collect my pay at Tyco. Yeah i need go to AMK from Tamp just to go to Tyco's canteen n collect my pay. It's very far. Be it da distance from Tamp to AMK or from da bstp to da cafeteria, both very far. Of course i dislike most to do the WALKING from da bstp to da cafeteria. Very far and tiring. Estimated to be 1.5km, bstp to canteen and canteen to bstp. But when i arrived, i only got half of my pay, becoz the other half, Golden June *another company* forgot abt my pay *kicks*. So i have to wait till Monday. Ok i'll wait.

Then, i went to Bugis to change my father's MP3. Arrived at Sim Lim Square *worn out, both physically and mentally*. But the seller told me that i came late coz the service center closed oready. Oh why didnt he tell me in da 1st place...well its becoz i didnt ask him of coz hahaha~that was unlucky of me.

Last destination, is to go to Lot 1's Delifrance. Mera paid for the meal i chose *arigatou gozaimasu nee eventhough i feel guilty of causing a big hole in her pocket*. And got my present from JJ, Fiza and Fatim. I was too tired by then and so i seemed not interested wen i just arrived but after that i was ok and by the time i've warmed up..fatim need to go back coz its 10pm oready n her BODYGUARDS were waiting haha...so i opened da present she bought for me upon her request. And guess wat...she bought me a book..a an orange colour book...tat has dis writings on da cover page "PERTUTURAN & TATABAHASA MUDAH BAHASA JEPUN"....ISNT TAT INTERESTING!..gosh...i wanna memorize everything in it!..yeah...i SHRIEKED. no i'm not exxagerating..its true...but i guess its not tat loud compared to da shrieked i made on 2004 wen i saw "that beautiful chinese guy"...hahaha Sly lah....last time only..now i wont shriek if i see him.

Fiza bought me a ROSE...oh geez...da last time i got a rose was sec 1...it wasnt a gift actually...fiza didnt want the rose so she gave me..but this time it's A GIFT...i still have the old dried rose..and now i have a new one..a fresh one!...thanks fiza.

And Rui..she sew a checkeredskirt n jacket for me~..awh thanks rui!!!~~but i dont guarantee u wen i'll wear..ahahah~ maybe in my room only WHAWHAHWAHW.

AKu nak plush toy harbot. Aku nak pelok techu.
Aku suka purple. Purple sexy.

Aku dah 18 jap lagik aku jadik 19.

Aku penat so nak tido.

Wassalam

What in the world are u trying to say?

2006-01-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: can't identify
Mendengar: Japanese Girl - hitomi

This afternoon...i chat with dis 1 guy..ex-juniedian...den he added his fren to chat wif me at msn...so we chat....ok here it goes...he knoes that i like tetsu...n he and his fren make a joke out of my emotions towards tetsu...dis guy said his fren tat he just added plays bass n guitar very impressive n his face look like tetsu....well of coz at da 1st place i know he's bluffing....but the way he said it was many times and wanted me to believe it..it was like...."hey u knoe wat, dis fren of mine here has da resemblance of tetsu n his skill"..i told him so far my fren met da ones that looks like him are chinese.Den he even asked me to imagine what happens if 1 day when i go out n saw dis fren of his tat looks like tetsu n he was playin da guitar...he wanted to knoe wat my reaction will be...well i told him...i will stop wateva i was doing and look at da person carefully...den if he does really resembles tetsu then maybe i'll be shock and SHRIEKS..*ok thats exxagerating*

I dont mind when he wanted to knoe wat was my reaction but i was beginning to hate him when he really wants me to believe that his fren does look like tetsu..saying that i was his fren's fan *coz his face like tetsu*...just wat are u trying to say...wat is your motive to tell me that....i was furious...+ i'm still with my emotionally sick and PMS! waddo u expect~.....so i asked him some qs abt tetsu..but they cant ans me...and they even treat as if they knoe everything abt tetsu's skills..his music watsoeva...they were discussing abt some song i send my fren...like new world n blurry eyes oso as if they knoe everything.....i was beginning to cry...oh well rite now i was thinking..why was i at da verge of crying?? *scratches head*...but da clear part was..i was soo mad at them...i said..fine if u really believe tat u have his face, show me your pic den i tell him wat my opinion is...then my fren said...this guy is shy so he dont wanna show his pic...WTH....even if i'm not sensitive i'll still be pissed off..coz they told me tat actually they want to make a joke..to lighten up my spirit...blergh...i didnt catch any funny or happy moments....it was all crappy.

Even at that moment..i was still controlling my emotions...if not then...i'm sure i've said very hurting words to tell them off...then just now he was online again...he asked me..whether am i still angry with him or not...i said truthfully yes..unless he gives me a reasonable explaination..so he said he was sorry n didnt mean to hurt me..he really meant to cheer me up...oh well..den i oso feel i was being sooo sensitive so i wanted to apologize and to forget abt it oso...n tell him tat his plan to cheer me up wasnt that cheery to me..LOL~

But..then...before i got the chance to say those things...he said WHY WAS I BEING SO EMOTIONAL AS IF TETSU WAS MY HUSBAND. AHAH!...that one i hate it. BLOODY SHIT. He dont knoe me, not even for 24hrs if i add all the hours he had chatted wif me and he wants to say those things to me??! i dont even remember which part of the conversation i react as if TETSU IS MY HUSBAND...why cant he get it...i did told him tat I was mad or wateva he want to called it as being EMO because he was playin wif my emotion towards tetsu....da feeling of wanting to see him with my own eyes at larc's live....things like tat...then he asked me to wake up...stop thinking him as my husband or having him....and said i was worshipin him....and asked me where was my aqidah n religion...its wrong....

Well for 1 thing...he still thinks that i wanna marry tetsu...of coz he is good looking to me...rich..talented...sexy....blablabla....but COME ON...MARRIAGE is a DIFFERENT THING. I would be glad to see or have SOMEONE that looks like tetsu or even remind me of tetsu...why? its something beautiful that tetsu have...and i dont think it's wrong to like any beautiful part of his face... And i dont WORSHIP him for goodness sake....he's a human...thats obvious...truthfully i said..yes i like him or love him...and when i said like or love i cant feel da difference...the likeness or love doesnt reach up to the extend of wanting to marry him or making him like my God...Tetsu did got my attention n i was da one who chooses to be his fan and to follow him...but wen comes to following...of coz i CHOOSE WHAT I WOULD WANT and ABLE TO FOLLOW...i dont blindly followin him.Maybe i was really into Tetsu...but i'll oso feel hurt if it was abt hyde ken or yuki or even my frens...

Wateva it is i'll still take note of his advice just to be on the goodside....its good to think good *rolls eyes*....but i oso HOPE HE DOES REMEMBER HIS OWN ADVICE.

Some people got out there.

Wassalam.

Things that came to my mind....

2006-01-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: Touched
Mendengar: Star - Aiko

This morning when i slept...i dreamt that my "trademark" 2hnt69 became one of da japanese company chocolate cookies brand...its like Meiji Seika's Hello Panda n Yan Yan...well this company i'm not sure wat was its name..but it used my 2hnt69...i didnt knoe abt it until 1 day i went to a supermarket to buy snacks...n i saw the box on the shelf...THE ONLY BOX left and its name was 2hnt69 Chocolate Kings and Crowns Cookies. The box was sooo colourful...typical japanese trademark, being cute and colourful...makes eating much more fun, the cookies was shaped like a crown and a cute king...obviously the king was Tetsu. My 1st impression was..HUH?WAT?....but i let it go....maybe i was too much into the snack shopping. I decided to continue checking da stuffs on da other shelves...but..after the shelf of the 2hnt69 Choc Kings ans Crowns Cookies...all the other shelves were EMPTY, except for a box of snack that i found and this time i wasnt sure wat snack or food it was,but it was still in a colourful and cute japanese box though slightly bigger.

I was feeling a bit weird wen i saw da second box...so i t0ok the box to take a look lil bit closer...well the front part was nothing much to say coz all written in japanese...*wakarimasen liaoz*...but i did catch da 2hnt69 again. When i turned to the back of the box, my eyes felt like popping out lehz...i saw THANKS TO HAZZY! densomejapanesewordsdonnowatitsays and log on to : www.2hnt69.blogspot.com + a screenshot of my blog. O_O...now...that was SOMETHING....

~the end~

Went out just now to buy things..or rather SHOPPING alone...it wasnt FUN...but i did get to buy my things and felt satisfied coz i took all my time to choose the things tat i wanna buy..no fussiness from other human...no worries no hurries. Oh and i need to learn SAVE MY MONEY *grits teeth*

next...arghh i love shaz.....she did a blog layout for me...u can view it here....http://www.freewebs.com/shaz-craze/hazzy.html....i was sooo touched...it looks personalise enough to me..hahaha..got tetsu...got hazzy...got 2hnt69...got my stupid donno wat crap image....yeah i did it...i donno wat verb shld i use for tat image..i drew it?? but i used comp....my dream of having my own layout...except for the colours ah..i would prefer brighter colours....but she did chose the correct colour of tetsu's pic nee..it kinda blends...

All she said to me was..."i didnt have anything to do so i did dis for ya...so AMEK AH"....HAHAHA..i knoe that gerl...she have dis way of giving pple things...shy to show her emotions...same goes to the day wen she told me that she want to give me smthg...a larc photo..

and the day she wanted to pass me back my yearbook...very shy gerl....but its ok....even if she dont show it...i can sense it....*winks* sweet but shy horz?? hahaha

Ah geez come let me take ya to da Tyco Factory.....i donno shld dis be a good sign or a bad one...my actual job was to sort 0.8mm FEC *no need to know wat it is actually lah ok* but on last thursday...mama *the factory way of calling a female leader* asked me to study how to sort SD Card !@#$%$% arghh....SD Card is the most tedious thing to sort...the deformed part oso very small, difficult to see neee...and rite now it's URGENT...so i need to sort betol2 n den be VERY FAST...wat liaoz...i still new why put on me burden of a professional *bites DSC SD card* arghh....n den mostly the M staff are chinese from da Mainland....i think my english is becoming worst...Xi Gang can speak lil bit eng..but he's the guy that he reminds me of hyde nee...i donno which part of his face tat reminds me of hyde and i feel weird talkin to him....so usually he ask me smth n i dont get his eng...i go blur n he go blur oso..LOL

And wats more...everyday I HEAR chinese conversation...till sometimes it feels difficult to speak other lang. Maybe i shld take this oppturnity to study mandarin horzzz....hmmm...i work with chinese...i eat oso with chinese..i go back oso with chinese....feels kinda weird but thats a fact nee..a lil bit shockin for me coz all the while i mix ard wif malays but i need to get use to it....mingle with other races..its kinda fun though..but not the miscommunication and explanation part...its hard.

To hantu: If u happen to read my blog...I wanna apologize..I dont mean to hurt your feelings abt my nick that day...not that its not impt to me...it is..and i really appreciate it..just tat these days i feel so rotten...yeah thats da word to describe wat i'm feeling...rotten....i'm looking forward for tat day...hope i'll be more stable on tat day so i wont disappoint u all...hope we can go to the open hse together too...anything sms me liaoz.

wassalam

Pain.

2006-01-08T00:49:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: No words to describe anymore.
Mendengar: We might as well be strangers - KEANE

it's very painful when we are sick emotionally....your mind keep thinking, worriying, planning things that are unsure, planning for your future, finding solutions for problems, heading off difficulties, coping with fears, living with low self-esteem and low confidence, living with people that makes u hurt everytime, pushing yourself not to give up,forcing ourself to become strong. Plus love ones being biased, is there a child that parents can choose not to love them? Somehow i feel that my parents are forced to love me, i am their responsibility thats why they have to "love" me. It become much more worst after so many days passed...u're still in da same state...depress...stress...hurt...da time seems to stop.......plus u have da mind of positive thinking....so your mind wont stop thinking for solutions....believing life is like a wheel...sometimes happy sometimes sad....so den wat happen if the wheel stops moving? maybe stucked by a pebble....if its on our sad days...it will stays like tat forever until da pebble is moved...thats wat i'm feeling rite now....thats why i said my days are still da same...i'm stuck....

We are living wif many pple...our parents...friends siblings...but....somehow rite now...im all alone...in fact all this while i am alone, i live and i stand on my own which is very tiring and a sad thing..since i was little i was all alone....i dont have anyone by my side...n i dont knoe wat to do anymore...tired of thinking....tired of planning...theres nothing in my life that is sure yet....its all in da air.

My mind was always in a confuse state...everything jumble up...all tangled up...i donno wats da reason....i cant think rite..i cant express myself rite...in fact most of da words in my sentence is jumbled up...that shows da condition of my brain.

Is that me?..sensitive?? is that wat pple call me sensitive?? is it my fault?? is tat SENSITIVE??

I feel like i wanna be UNEXIST...wanna be out of everyones memories...out from their mind...its different from die...if die...pple still knoe who i am....if UNEXIST...which is a made word of myself means in da 1st place i dont exist at all...i don need to FORCE pple to love me...i dont need to be a burden to anyone.

I still wonder whats da reason of my existence..

I'm in pain like hell...i dont knoe how i will be if i grow up..provided tat i live a long life.....

emotionally sick.Suffocating. Feels like breaking.

If they dont love me, nvm then....dont force yrself, dont pretend, I still have my God.

I love him and He loves me.

wassalam...

JuSt SoMe RaNdOm TotS

2006-01-04T11:57:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: Depress....

Mendengar:Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil Kim, Mya – Lady Marmalade

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista
Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista

He met Marmalade down IN old Moulin Rouge
Struttin’ her stuff on the street
She said, “Hello, hey Jo, you wanna give it a go?” Oh!uh huh

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here)
Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir
Voulez vous coucher avec moi

Orgh...stop staring.....i knoe...its becoz of da song i'mlistenin n da lyrics...sooo not me..hahaha....but I think da song is sexy notforgetting da pv damn sinful hahaha..and lots of INTERESTING words to pronouce till i twist my tongue~ especially da french part....oh geez da meaning is REALLY SOMETHING..."Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir" means "Please lie down with me this evening"....well that’s kinda too literally translated...but it does have a clear meaning..hahaha.

Just read Tetsugaku Chapter 59 on Travelling. Hahaha...i like this part tetsu said - I can't speak English atall. I said "scuze me". hahaha *imaginin tetsu said scuze me* XDDDD

Argh abt job...i need to change my part time job...i wanna work at library. My current job is boring...but that’s not da main reason....i need to find another coz rite now i have plans...alot of them....i need to carry out all of them...so i need time....my current job doesnt 'allow' me that....no time liaoz...reach home12am....sleep den wake up at 11am...help mother cook..den go work again....and it continues like tat...isnt tat depressin....

Oh and just now..wen i'm in da MRT, goin back home...i tot of this...smile does really change someone's day. Well da story begins...wen I passed my trainin at Tyco...so i need to change placeto another building...aiya just next to da tyco factory...and that means..i will be workin wif new pple which i think most of dem are CHINESE AUNTIES *aiyooo*....i donno whether they will be better pple..in terms of friendliness....but i miss those staffs at my trainin department...even though they are mainly chinese...and i cant understand any full sentence of chinese whenever they tried to explain to me something...in fact i think I gonna miss their chinese jokes...i knoe i don’t understand any of them...but i do get some words and they way they communicate with their frens looks soo fun maybe it's becoz 80% of them are YOUNG....hahaha...they did showed me their care...yeah i can see that...how grim and fierce their face....they were actually hiding it.....i didnt hate dem wen i met them da 1st time...coz of da saying..Dont Judge a boOK By iTs CoVer. At 1st i smiled to them...but all they give me was a stare...or look at me wif no expression. Nevermind. I keep on smiling and be friendly and respect them. I did win Ah fang's , Weng Tian's, Bee Chu's, Tay's and some other staff's attention....hahaha...i smiled at them....and they smiled atme back...hahaha....but da most difficult one..is da leader...a chinese auntie and another M staff *donaskmewatdaheckMstandsfor*....i donno their name...they had the most fierce face.

But just now...i donno wat came to tat M staff....wen I arrive at my department...suddenly she called me....n sed "awak lambat ah?? *smiles* mana budak india tuu??*smiles*" i said,
"erm tak tau plk....*smiles back + panting* maybe die lambat"
"hmm maybe ah...*smiles*

WAS THAT WEIRD OR A MIRACLE????

after i sat down....n do my routine job.... she called me again....she told me tat i need to follo Bee Chu tothe new building coz I passed my training oready...thank god I PASSED!~...but wats better was tat she smiled again at me!!~...WOW~~...I WAS SOOO HAPPY....but isnt tat quite weird...suddenly she sooo good and become generous of smiles at me??

Another one....ard 10.15pm....still doing my work....suddenly HACHUUMMMM *sneezes*......well it was loud n clear..coz at tat time..da department was quiet and everyone concentrating on their work..checking SD card...l...she looked at me...after my loud sneeze ...and SMILED...WOW!!~~..ahahaah.....those smiles really make my day~~

ohh yeah i cut da part i made tat auntie leader smiled at me..coz i'm sleepy oready..haahah

wassalam...

Just woke up....

2005-12-20T02:26:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: Penat ah....
Mendengar: Ada Band - Kau Auraku

Geez...itz been such a long time since i last update ahahaha....dah berkarat and berlumut~

Here's something for those who always pester me to update..actually i've been longing to update my blog...the urge is very strong neee....da desire is burning inside me~ok ok...this is considered a long intro oready horz..long time nvr blog wat....oh and this template is a temporary one coz i cannot tahan with the past one..da pic gone oready liaoz.

Lately i've got a part time job at Tyco Electronics at AMK...*ang mo kio*....2nd shift 3pm-11pm...i need da money that's why i work part time *erm ok...it's more of i WANT it*.I'm all alone and surrounded by chinese that prefers to speak malay than english *weird*.

Currently waiting for my O level results which maybe will be out in March 2006. Aiming for Apparel Design n Merchandising at TP. Rushing in preparing my portfolio and i'm looking foward to the polys open house~

To my dear readers,
Last Sunday which was on the 18 Dec 2005...my uncle got married *idonnowatshisname*....to any of u that can still remember of my last year's fully described experience on a wedding ceremony at KL, you will notice a similiarity in dis wedding...to those who are not, well the wedding at KL belongs to my very far n not by blood ties cousin which is FAKE *check archive for December 19 2004 entry* and as for the current wedding ceremony it belongs to my step uncle, considered as FAKE oso ah...well maybe that's not the right way of putting it but that is the reality...we are only related by my grandpa's marriage n his mother which is now my step grandma...she is a good grandma and i do like her~

I really have to say FAKE in order TO AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING coz I DONT KNOW WHAT IS THEIR NAME AND I'M STILL NOT SURE WHAT TO CALL THEM.

ok enough of those confusing explaination.....or maybe i did not explain it tat well...wrong sentence structure n bad choice of words. I apologize.

Ok here's the part i wanna tell...
The ceremony started on Saturday, i'm with the groom side at Marsiling and the bride is at Bukit Panjang...it was da day the couples were united by the Tok Kadi. At 1st i felt that it was like a normal wedding and i dont bother about it that much coz me and my mother wasnt even busy for the preparation..therefore cannot feel the heat of a great ceremony ah...and something i nvr experience b4 happened on that day...just after Tok Kadi unite da couples at the bride's hse the whole straight rows of the HDB block blacked out....pple over there went lil bit chaotic...donno what was da cause....at last the ceremony were cut short n den we went downstairs to eat.

Before this which was during hari raya nenek told me that she wants me to be da kendarat...give away little present to the guest...i agreed since i dont have any plans on my hols....the kendarat work start on Sunday....

On Sunday...i wore blue kurung...wif my blue ribbon, lolita shoe. I ate 1st wif my parents n my married bro n little haziq....then got my fancy laced and ribboned kendarat badge complete wif a $10 note attached to it~...At 11am....i started my work...giving away da presents to da guests...at 1st i was reluctant to take the job coz i was the only gerl that took that job...and none of my female cousin want to join me...since i was stucked oready wif that job...i did the work wif alot of pride n smiles ahahah~In total...6boys and 1 gerl...somehow that made me feel uncomfortable and lonely... i dont even knoe who they were...eventhough 1 of them was my FAKE cousin...but i donno wats his name....yes till todae....his age is 17 like me oso..just finish o lvl~

So i did the work alone...muttering curses inside...why am i alonee~~~ arghhh....but nvm....i think positive....then here comes the story about this guy...i think he was a fren of my fake cousin....his work is to wipe the table clean and send the plates to the dishwashing site. At 1st he was kinda struggling, trying to find and choose which table to clean 1st..so i took da initiative to help him...and even tell him another work to do...tat is checking and filling up the container wif water that was used to wash hands.

First conversation,
Hazzy: erm awak nanti kalo tempat cuci tangan ni dah kosong awak isi dgn air ok?...awak kena check2 ah...
Guy: eh? ohh ok sure..*smiles*
Hazzy:*smiles*

GOSH...i was shocked wen he smiled at me...i tot he was goin to invent a new colourful word to curse me or something...but it turned out to be different...

Next conversation,
Hazzy: erm awak..nama awak saper??
Guy: Sha*** *smiles*
Hazzy: huh? apa?? *cursing the damn loud karaoke pple*

Guy:Shari* *smiles*

Hazzy: erm?.......*feels like destroying the speakers*

Guy: Sharil. *smiles*

Hazzy: Ohhhh *tot of ending the conversation and carry on wif the work*

Sharil: And what's your name? *smiles*

Hazzy: *shocked* Hazwani.

Sharil: ohhh...so is this your cousin's wedding?*smiles*

Hazzy: erm...kinda like tat..*smiles*

Well ok...at 1st i asked for his name..so that it will be easier to call him wen i found a table he have not yet clean up...coz it looks inappropriate to call him AWAK coz big oready wat.. but it turned out to be more than that. hmmmm.....

Next conversation,

Hazzy: Aduhhh.....geez.... *shakes leg* *cursing herself n the high heel shoe* *BUT NOT REALLY HIGH just 3cm*

Sharil: eh u ok tak? your leg? *looks at my feet* *concern face*

Hazzy: eh? nahh its ok...its becoz of the heels....*dah nak paiseh*

Sharil: oh...is it da blisters? *still wif the concern face*

Hazzy: maybe....

oh well....no comment...but i didnt expect him to ask me that....*evil grins*.......it was a different kind of tone nee...oh n yeah b4 this part happen..there were alot of eyes contact and smile smile everytime he passes by me or the other way round...HEY he started the smile 1st ok....i think he's soooo generous wif smile...like mr ismail

I oso notice tat he talks less compared to his other frens...and it looks that he is hardworking coz he did the work more than wat he was needed to do...like arranging the tissue boxes...botol kuih...arranging da chairs PERFECTLY bla bla...*reminds me of mahera...donno why*....

it's either....he is a perfectionist and do the work wholeheartedly OR he knoes that i'm watching him HAHAHAH *evil laugh*

Den....more of eye contact and smile smile again....oh well and dis one part....i saw he smiled atdakaraokegerlthathasdavoiceexactlylikesitinurhaliza....geezz....hahahah*bitter laugh*....and NO COMMENT....he's just being frenly i guess~

When i was abt to go home...i was waiting for my mom...she was talking to my sis n i was at da centre of their conversation...den i saw Sharil several distance away from me...and i could see that he's trying to say something to me...he asked "dah nak balik?" and i said "yeah, bye~" *waving hand*, he waves back and SMILED again..hahaha

Den ar i followed my mom to Abg wan's bike..suddenly he stopped me...

Sharil: erm u have contacts like email or hp?

Hazzy: yup i do...

Sharil: can give me?

Hazzy: yeah sure..

Den i gave him ah the email...and he sed he can email me for hp no....he looks gabra but it was just a guess nee...it looks difficult for him to press the button wen key in my email in his hp...and wats more 1 of his frens kaypoh2 beside him....ask him wat is he doing n i did heard a sudden OHhhhhh.....

At 1st i tot of asking him his hp no. but i malas oready liaoz damn tired....

And thats it...a long story...ahh need to get ready for work now....matta neeee

Wassalam.

2005-04-22T17:38:00.000+08:00

Perasaan: tired...
Mendengar:Bonnie Pink - Heaven's Kitchen

God...long time no update lioaz...hahaahah....lazy and busy.

lets make it short.

My school project ended already...well the project was preparing an exhibition on Prophet Muhammad..it was successful...despite of the bitterness in the process of the exhibition..we had fun...our last year's fun...i'm so tired rite now..

Exams coming....wakaka....let's get started...ready steady go~good luck for me~

To Bento Club Members: 4th June sorry..i wont be attending the guys' performance...gomen...i just don wanna go....

2005-03-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

wat siahz...face like dat..me smile u go SHOCK wat for..*slapz*

2005-03-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

during da DARE..

2005-03-14T22:40:00.001+08:00

my fav!! BANANA!!!!

2005-03-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

yum yum!!....*forgots hyde*

2005-03-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

ulalalaal

2005-03-14T22:37:00.000+08:00

da taste....ewwww *wants to puke*

2005-03-14T22:36:00.001+08:00

1...2....3...*eats*

2005-03-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

ergh..cherry...

2005-03-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

yummy!

2005-03-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

befdae gerl's

2005-03-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

smudge's

2005-03-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

banana split *hazzy's*

2005-03-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

ulalalal...our table....full...

2005-03-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

promoting somethign?? or someone??...bhaz tats her "boyfren" hohohohohho